Life goes into overdrive; everything passes by so fast that everything looks still; a uniform blur.
I have grown so much the yesterday and today. In the blink of an eye.
The day started with the outing with Tan Long, Chow and Teckie as planned. We went to Tiong Bahru to have our breakfast at the famous porridge place which I don't remember the name of. The porridge was so-so... Hardly worth the distance we walked I think. But that was the first time in 10 years since I last ate pork porridge, so I guess it was a milestone =)
Words cannot express how glad I was to meet them again. It was a warmth from deep in my heart. It has been so long! I ended up discussing with Teckie about the themes running through Fight Club of the dangers of going to extremes and Nihilism. Which somehow led to Tolkien and themes of sub-creation, class discrimination and incest (Children of Hurin). Wah. I haven't used my brain in a long time. Hahas. Not in a discursive way, anyway.
We later went to Suntec City and then CitiLink and Raffles City, getting more and more tired every step of the way. No one slept well, I guess. Except Teckie that is. He was superrr energetic.
Anyway, we came across Starbucks while in Suntec, and they were only left with bucks and fee. See how capitalistic it is? "We want bucks and pay us fee!" The shopping got really tiring because my feet were hurting, and I didn't sleep until 2+ a.m. the night before worrying about the tests I would have to do when I step back into Circwood. (I am still very worried, by the way!) But I guess I can't compare myself to Chow lah. He didn't sleep at all, but wasted his whole night in MOS. Literally.
We later had a nice little lunch/snack (according to Tan Long) at TCC in CitiLink as we (I) realised how tired we were of each other. Mainly 1 v.s. 3.
I guess when friends have been friends for a long time, we just take it for granted that someone will be the same way they are always. We think we know their "chao kuan" and so we start being evil to our friends because well, we are friends! But maybe we don't really know the circumstances ba? Why have we become so intolerant of each other?
Enough time wears down even the strongest foundations. You know, Jesus said "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." I think it's the same as friendships. The more I want to hold on to them, the more I will lose them. Yet I wasn't made to not care, and leave things be. I feel like I have to "water the plant" to have it grow. So what's the right way?
I went with Gracia, Conrad, Jun Kai at TPY after the outing. We had steamboat! Yeap.. all went to Gracia's place to makan. So in the end Wei Lun, Chai Kee, Yi Shin and Mark also came. That's virtually the whole team lorh! And I had a lot of fun. =)
I know I don't usually mention them, but KRT is super close to my heart. They're the only people I can say that I've been through failure and success, joy and sadness with together. And then there are the times when we rowed out for training and I would be whining about ahem and all. Hahas.. Those were the days. Wish I could relive them again!!
I might have neglected them abit eh? But seriously, Wei Lun is the best partner I can ever have, and Conrad and Gracia are about the weirdest and cutest couple I've ever seen. Hahas.. Just look at them!
By the way, if you were wondering, Conrad's laughing at Yishin because he's trying to hold in his shit. LOL!
Conrad, Gracia and I took a ride on Yishin's car to taunt the whole night after steamboat. And we went to eat at Tangshui at Thomson. Wah. Shiok. The long talk during steamboat was great too. I haven't talked so much for such a long time!! And university sounds reallyyyy fun from what Gracia is saying. I want to go leh!!
Anyway, having a car really rocks. We went all around lah. St James, Mt Faber, Dick Lee's house, Thomson... almost went to Changi. Hahas.. Superfun. I feel really tempted to go learn driving leh.. But aiyah. No money to buy car. =/
We have got to do this again soon... Training next week!
Maybe it's not how much time you spend together, but how you spend it that counts ba..
I feel so old. Like I finally realise the ideals that I had ever naivety on my part. And now the plate has hit the ground and shattered, and nothing can put it back together again.
Maybe I should take a step back and stop trying to hold the hand I never had.
Shit! Emo thought! Hahas.. That's actually good. Wah. This has been therapeutic. I feel much better now. =) Good luck to me for field camp!!
Jerry Maguire was a good movie. "You complete me." That's really sweet! Hahas. Too bad I probaby would have no chance of saying the same thing to some girl =/
What really surprised me was Fight Club, actually. I downloaded this movie a long time ago, and watch the front part of it and then somehow deleted it. Today I got to see the whole film. Oh man oh man oh man!
The movie describes the rebellion of the blue-collar worker against the unthinking citizen who just expects everything to work out without ever thinking of the reason as to why. Why should we have good furniture? Do we really need phones that can do everything? It is story of going against society's grain, and really taking a step back to think of what we are evolving into as a whole. More frightening is the sheer power of brainwashing and the power of the little people you thought were insignificant such as waiters and bus drivers and policemen. The little people who work so that your life runs smoothly.
I really liked the twist as well. I never saw it coming. 4.5 stars! If you haven't watched it, you'd better go grab it man. No wonder it's a classic. Like. Wow! -thinks of Tan Long impersonating Debra Wilson impersonating Oprah-
Anyway, sadly for me, it didn't rain. So I didn't manage to get my swimming trip. Pretty much spent my day watching movies and eating egg sandwiches which I toasted in my pan. I found it pretty amusing that I was toasting on a pan. So cool! Hahas. Don't mind me. I love the occasional egg sandwich. It's just so tasty! And the egg has to be scrambled egg, not hard-boiled then diced. Those suck!
Recently, I've found myself becoming more inclined towards Business news and the Iraq war. Am I finally growing up? Hahas. The credit crisis is quite a frightening thing. Especially when all you hear is analysts saying that our economy is sound and will not go into a recession. Kinda makes you think if they're just preventing panic selling doesn't it? But then again, I think the worst is over, with Bernanke raising the fed rate, it seems like everything is slowly bouncing back. STI is up 49.41 points today! That's good news for us! I think the other markets are in the green too. So more hooray!
Okae, I must be crazy. Was I reporting financial news?
Yesterday saw Bush addressing veterans about staying the course in the 2nd Gulf War. (What's new?) I agree that they cannot pull out lah.. Not very responsible. But it's really American lives vs Iraqi lives isn't it? Sectarian violence is the shit. To be brutally honest, I think Iraq is becoming boring for everyone after 4 years. War was exciting when everyone believed in it, and when things were moving.. But it seems like Bush is in a quagmire and a really stale stagnant one. One word: sian. LPPL.
Sorry.. I just have this inexplicable desire to type alot suddenly. Product of ultimate boredom, no doubt.
Change of topic. Want to know a secret about me? I really wanted to be a musician. Not necessarily a commercial money earning one, but just someone who can play his piano, sing his songs and be very contented with being able to do that. Unfortunately, I'm also a person with a hidden and selective esteem issue. I'm so convinced that I won't be able to play well that I don't. See the vicious cycle? I think that I sing badly too becausee people say I sing badly. How loseristic is that? Where is that streak of (pardon the language) "fuck off, I lead my own life!!"?
And so we all live on without really thinking how we are leading this life. We blunder on, doing things we have to do. Serve NS, study, work in Fuji Xerox, sit at home blogging and rotting. What would I say when I read this next year, 5 years later, ten years on? Would I still be like this? I hope not.
Yet there's something beautiful in each moment. I was just commenting that I realised how much I loved JC life. Only now. How crappily stupid is that? Too late. But hey, that's the beauty of it all. Like I once wrote, "Memories are not things that we can lock in pictures. They stay in our heads and eat at us." But hey, without knowing the our past, how can we face our future with conviction?
Now it came to past that Mr Suan came to sojourn in Circwood. And later on in the Place Where Everything Comes From...
I feel much better now. I was in a bad state when I went to church this morning. Not that I'd let anyone notice that.
The past week in Circwood and the Place was really bad for me. Bad in the sense that I was exposed to many of my shortcomings I never knew existed. Good in that same way too, I guess.. By the end of the week, however, my esteem was at its lowest level and I never felt so much self-loathe in my life.
Before I go into detail, allow me to describe Circwood. It is not a big forest, merely the size of 3 Wings. I share my loft with 3 other fellow sojourners, and each loft is enchanted such that the atmosphere remains cool despite the weather. Although each loft is small, it suffices for one such as I.
The food in Circwood is the best I've seen so far in Ah Gong's Legion. I had horfun for lunch the first day I stepped in, and glutinous rice for breakfast the next day. I guess the modest size of the grounds made the place seem cosy and comfortable at first sight. Whether the truth differs from impression, I can only know as more days pass.
The second day in Circwood, we traversed to The Place for Advanced Arrow-shooting in another part of the Lion Realm. That was when trouble started.
I never was much of a shooter, see, and fact that they gave us older modelled bows did not help matters. Never once did I pass my practice shoots bar one day shoot. Imagine the beating I gave myself in my head!
I kept telling myself that I couldn't shoot and true enough, the prophecy was self-fulfilled. Haix. Thank God I was able to pull myself together on the actual test and score a 17/28. Hardly a marksman score, but at least I wouldn't have to retake the test.
Other days in The Place was spent on an Exercise whereby senior sentients made us move heavy stuff around and made us do many exercises to earn our place in The Place and Circwood. This, of course, was marked by our Hat.
It was during this particular Exercise where I felt my mortality and frailty strongly once again. I hate that feeling. That feeling when the Little Man inside overtakes me and tells me that I should give up because I cannot do certain things, and I actually listen! What is wrong with me?! Where in my mental strength? Do I even have any?
The individualistic nature of my fellow sojourners did not help matters.
Where there once was Light in the form of the Epitome, there now is Darkness, since the Epitome departed for the South. I guess I am just suffering the withdrawal symptoms of the lack of Light. I've got to get used to this Darkness and cope with it before it consumes me. That would mean I would have to go it alone. Argh.
Other thoughts I shall not reveal now. It all seems pretty silly to me now. But thank you, Epitome.. somehow you always help without knowing it yourself.
Woot! I finally got to go out today! Guess where I went? No prize, I'm afraid =P
The plan was initially to tan my white ass off in Sentosa together with Tan Long and Enqing, since we were all bored stiff from the long break we have after ______. Needless to say, the plan failed like all plans must do in some level, mainly because the Fire-golden Fruit of Laurelin refused to penetrate the pesky clouds. Urgh.
With the tanning session struck off the list, and with Tan Long dead keen on his 'double bill', we checked out the cinema for tickets to Transformers and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. As luck would have it, all the tickets to either movie were selling fast in VivoCity. Don't you just hate people who go watching movies as a class and who book the tickets way in advance? Like hey, leave some space for the poor NSFs who have no other entertainment during weekends!
Disappointed, we decided to head to Tiong Bahru Plaza since it seemed to be the only place not taken over by hoards of movie-ticket-snatching folks. That's not before we (or maybe just me) shopped all over VivoCity for a top to keep my singlet-clad body warm in the cinema later on.. And of course, there was the super-filling lunch...
Carnivore was pretty much as the name of the restaurant suggested. Heaps and heaps of meat in the forms of beef rumps, fish, lamb, bbq chicken were piled on our plates by native Brazilians probably hired just to show that the place was Brazilian. The food was good, of course, though hard and sometimes smoky tasting. Don't order the Capiranha though.. I hated it. Lime is just not my cup of cocktail! Oh, I forgot to mention that it was a buffet, so naturally, I was filled to the top with food at the brink of barfing.
Shopping was disappointing. I can't believe there's nothing in Vivo to that fits what I wanted to get! I did see the tee I wanted to buy for Jamie before she went to Australia at 37 degrees though.. Too bad they had no M size. L is too large. Pity pity!
At the incessant complaints of Tan Long to leave, I finally gave up trying to find something and we all went to Tiong Bahru by means of the MRT. That's rare I tell you! Tan Long cabs like he owns ComfortDelgro. =P
Anyway, so we did manage to watch Harry Potter in the end. After finally out that Transformers was totally sold out of course. That's also after being told that the air-conditioner in the cinema was down. Like why in the world did it have to be down when we wanted to watch a movie? Go find someone else's movie outing to ruin! Thank God we went ahead with the "super hot and stuffy" option the ticket-stub-collector gave us. It wasn't that stuffy after all..
HP was wonderful. Marvellous. Fantabulous. The best movie of all the HP movies yet, I say. Truly, David Yates directed well, and there was good action on the part of Dumbledore vs Voldemort. Man, can't wait to get my hands on the books and to read them again! It's so exciting!
I should think that Sirius Black and Dumbledore would come back to life, but Harry Potter dies in the end of Deathly Hallows. Else, it would be too anti-climatic for the legendary Harry to become a normal Auror in a peaceful world. There needs to be some darkness left in the world for us to see the light! We shall see on July 21st! The net would burst with spoilers I guess..
Alrighty. I've said enough. Till another time.. take care, and stay cheery!
France had a system of lordship and serfhood. Basically a serf is a farmer who tends to the land allotted to him (or more commonly taken away from him) by his lord. Now, serf had to know his place, and farm enough to pay the "rent" for the land in terms of taxes and also to have enough for his family.
The French monarchy was obviously infamously unaware of the sufferings that this system caused, as epitomised in what Queen Marie Antoinette said, "Let them eat cake." As we all know, desperate people are dangerous people. Think Cultural Revolution, think Berlin Wall, think, more recently, the 2nd Gulf War.
And so the serfs rose up against the oppression of the lords who had no real right over them, killing them with farm tools and the guillotine they created.
Now, what has this got to do with what I'm going to blog about?
Simply that I was just passing excrement (ahem) in someone's place, and this thought came to my mind: "I should know my place." Typical Dezhi thought, I would think. Something that is low on esteem and filled with self-belittlement.
But spend some time to think about it. I have a Lord who has every right over my life. He bought it, after all. Have I really thought about what my place is? What I need to do is to obey, and not heed the spirit of rebellion that is within me. Maybe that's why there's been so much difficulty and heartache along the way. Simply because it's not God's way. Makes total sense.
Now if I were me when I was in Secondary Three, I would not believe that I would say such a thing. I believed in freedom, in doing what you want as long as it harms no one and you feel good about it, and in that elusive idea of love. You know, it being universal, selfless, blah blah blah, all that jazz.
I believe in God now. So if you have something to say to me, please don't. I feel like I've grown older over these years. I've learnt a lot of things. So I should know better. Just need to learn once again not to get caught up in the moment, I guess.
So what I'm saying now is that I should emancipate myself like what the serfs did. Break free from the bondage that has held me, and focus on the things I want to achieve. Like get a Vespa! Get a 2B license before getting a Vespa! Get a non-SLR-but-has-manual-options camera! Learn Japanese! Buy a new MacBook Pro if I have extra money (not likely)! What else arh? I think that's about it for now.
Anyways, I saw 2 Vespas at Thomson Plaza today! Gracia was suggesting we share a Vespa. Hahas.. Doubt it will work, but sounds very tempting sia! That would cut the price I have to pay to about 4 thousand bucks up? I think I will be putting a meter up to show my savings real soon =) Presuming I survive ______, the place I am going to.
Kayaking was fun today. I feel like I can do a K1 better now after Wei Lun pang seh me to take a K2 with Jun Kai. I lost to Piper and Cheryl and the J1 in a T1! Quite sad larh. But I guess 1 year of non-rowing really makes a difference. Especially because I didn't do any warm-up rounds! It was like "okae, Dezhi, go challenge them!" Aiyah. I pulled all the way and threw strokes into the wind. Obviously, I died by 500m. Boo! But hey, I loved going back to MacRitchie and capsizing as much as I want. Exhilarating!
I'm now in Jamie's room after playing LAN with the kayaking gang. There's a class gathering going on now with pizza and the last ever game to be held in the National Stadium playing outside, but I'm blogging alone here. Oh melancholy! Hahas.. Drama darling! No lah.. just don't feel especially in the mood for talk with my irritating sore eye in my eye. So hello blog! I've got a feeling I'd become some geek who only blogs before soon (that's if I'm not already that).
This is not bad, you know. There's no climatic ending and sendoff, but at least there's an ending. Another chapter is half closed with no clue as to what the future of the story would bring.
That's the beauty of life isn't it? Nothing is ever final.
Before long I would be going off to an undisclosed distant land for training. It came so fast that I feel nothing really about it. Tiny bits of hysteria flashes past my mind once in a while like what if I die there? or would I get to see you again?
I guess some things never change. While Ivan is thinking about what else to add into his computer or when would be the best time to buy that Wii, and while Tan Long is thinking about what to eat for dinner or when to have a DotA session, here I am sitting here thinking about the same thing over again.
I'm not a cynical bitch as much as a self inflicter of pain. I remember once reading Shuying's entry about this. Or was it? It was around that period lah.. About how this self-pity can be gratifying. Maybe I indulge in feeling emo?
Anyway, the past few days went badly, and I have every right to feel sad okae! Jamie unfortunately fell sick just before social night, so I had to go alone. I didn't want to ask someone else because I was thinking it wouldn't be fair to her (the other person) cos I would be sulking anyway. Then when I finally got to Sentosa Tanjong Beach, I immediately regretted. Imagine everyone with a date but me. Evidently I was sullen and quiet. Strangely, I did enjoy myself, looking at all the couples having fun, and just immersing in the general atmosphere of reminiscence.
So anyway, most of the evening was spent feeling really weird, and I'm really thankful that eelings was there. Tan Long too. The sky was beautiful and many couples took the chance to take their wedding photos there. I saw at least 5 of them! Like wah.. I'm gonna take mine in an unexpected place. A multi-storey carpark!
Today was spent stoning at home because well, Jamie can't eat chocolates no more, and she can't stay out too late, so I thought we should just give the date a miss. And so all that I looked forward to for this week just went poof!. Of course I would be disappointed. So please stop asking me not to be disappointed. But it's alright lah.. I'm experienced now in such things.
My main concern is just seeing Jamie again before going off to ______ and her going overseas. Wouldn't want someone to just disappear without a word like that. We all know how all relationships are fragile, and once it becomes too much of a hassle, everything falls apart (think 6B, OG, 4H, KKMC, etc..) . I'm just trying to keep a picture memory of her before she disappears.
Well, I guess I have no real say in determining whether I can ever meet her, judging by the last two dates. If I don't, here's bon voyage and bestest blessings to you, Jamie!
I'd be kayaking tomorrow! Hehs.. Meeting the J1s for the first time. They are so dead! Wah. It would be fun =) Heard from HP's sms that the youth group would be fun too. Can't wait! Even though tomorrow would mean just one more day left for me...
Don't miss me guys! I know you won't =) Eh, and if you are reading this, please tag. Argh. It's like dead lah. Show me some love! That applies to you, Tan Long's mum, and Tan Long's sister! Hahas.. okae, that's real strange.
I might blog again tomorrow.. see how ba. If I don't, please wish me luck. Thanks much, and I love you all!
Never let anyone allow you to do any less than you can achieve.
That is what I have learnt through my short stay here at OCS. The whole of Foxtrot Wing has just left the Wing line for their 23 km route march. 4 SISPEC crossovers followed along, the other 23 of us stayed behind, lured by the temptation of rest and procrastination.
Have you watched Ghost Rider? This is the feeling you get when you realise that you have sold your soul to the devil unknowingly. It felt all wrong at the start, but what Tan Long said to me made total sense. Why be so upset when you have it so good? I basically did nothing since coming here from SISPEC. Nothing significant, at least. It's not a matter about being cynical. That's an easy explanation to shut me up. It's really about not performing.
Why didn't I go for the route march? I chose not to. Why? Because I bought into the slacking and I believed that my miserly 28km march in SISPEC justifies my not doing everything in the world. I am fallen. That's why I've been feeling like crap all these days. It was my conscience speaking, and I didn't hear it until it was too late.
Tango Wing Comd spoke to us just now, and I've realised that what he said was very true. Instead of lamenting on my posting to Logs, I should excel in it and show that I am the best in what I do. That's precisely what I'm going to do. No more telling me what I can or cannot do. Because only I get to decide that!
We'll do it all; Everything; On our own; We don't need; Anything; Or anyone
Pro Term would be arduous. With my friends all busy with their own vocations and individual work and studies, it would be worse. But I know I am going to come out on top of it all. Overcoming adversity with courage, fortitude and determination.
I'm going to be booking in again soon. This long weekend seems to be full of frustration for me. I'm not very certain of the cause, but it might be the Gatsby Moving Rubber that I just bought. I tend to get pimple outbreaks and short tempers when my hair is stuck in the same place too long. Hahas. Thank God for no pimple outbreak this time!
I am partially also frustrated with the sheer amount of thoughts running through my head. Hide or show? (I can totally see Tan Long's eyes lighting up now) Well, after thinking for so long, I realised that it would be selfish to say anything. It's just too late. I don't want it to be an unnecessary burden on top of so many other things to worry about.
Anyways, the week was fulfilling. I managed to have very very delicious chocolate at Max Brenner at the Esplanade with Tan Long, Ivan and Jun Yuan. Words cannot describe how wonderful it was for me to bite into that Belgian Waffel. Truly orgasmic. I smsed Jamie about it, and we are going again this Friday to eat it! Hehs.
And then I had my long awaited kayaking gathering! By God's grace, my regimental guard duty was lifted from me because other people had to serve their extras from platoon field camp. We went to the zoo! It was amazingly boring. More like a botanical garden than a zoo man. All the animals somehow disappeared into the plants.
I was told how screwed up the current batch of J1s were. How is it that young people nowadays have no respect for their seniors? Hey, if you are really good, go ahead, show us and shut us up. But if your training has nothing to show for it, and you slack off, then you deserve to get a lecture from any of us! 10km in 2hours? What a joke. To think we put in so much sweat in our earlier trainings to make sure that we made a mark in competitions. 2 years on, we are going to be brought down by these slackers? Do they have no sense of pride for their own CCA and their achievements?
As the pioneer batch, we are going to go down this Saturday to show them how crappy it is that we would beat them after not touching a paddle for longer than any of them. (That is if we actually beat them.. hahas)
Other than the gatherings, we played DotA to our hearts contents too with the 6 new heroes. =) I regretted it though.. We played till 4am this morning, and I had trouble going home. Now I have so little money for all the things I want to prepare for social night! Man, I wanted it to be perfect. Just hope that my brother would be kind enough to lend me some moolah!
Well, other than that, there's nothing much.. I'd better go dress up!
There are times such as a time like this that I feel an urge to blog but cannot, mainly because the SAF is afraid that blogging would introduce viruses into their computer network. Nah. I'm sure that's not the real reason.. maybe something more sinister like not wanting funny happenings in here to be leaked out to the civilian realm. Whatever the case, I can't blog!
Like the genius I am, I came up with a solution to go around this problem. I am typing an e-mail to myself! How cool is that? After all, blogging really is just typing a message to yourself. I'm just doing it the old-fashioned way.
Anyways, I just finished a 2 x 3km run (i.e. 6km for you math-unsavvy folk out there) because the Wing Comd decided that we shouldn't join the rest of the Wing in their 16km route march. Now, there are two conspiracy theories as to why:
Someone thinks that the reason is that we are not "physically conditioned" to join the Wing for the 16km. Hey, after all, us SISPEC s**ts only completed a 28km route march. Hardly good enough for the OCS standard man.. 16km is just too difficult for us.
Wing Comd finds that there's no need for us to do another 16km since we have already done our 28km in SISPEC. Now, that sounds more logical doesn't it? Sometimes I wonder how people think.
It's never really the tangible aspects of how they treat us here that makes me feel ill at ease. It's these small little things that tells me, "hey, you are not supposed to be here". Little things like what they call us, to what they ask us to do - mainly fatigue work. Hey, I totally understand that it would be better for us to do fatigue work - after all, we don't get to participate in the activities anyway.. But can you blame us for feeling used? For being treated like we are the Filipinos?
There are definitely good people here who try to assimilate us. But I know too that it would be hard. After all, we haven't been here for 12 weeks, and the fact that we don't get to go through the "tough trainings" like 16km and Exercise Spade with the rest of the cadets sets us apart even more. It's like we are slacking all the way. Personally, I don't mind doing a 16km again. Although I can't speak for the rest of the crossovers, but I really think it would help us to blend in.
That said, maybe we are all waiting for the end of Service Term when everyone would go their separate ways anyways, so there would be less hassles of getting to know people.
Well, I think that's enough said about my dilemma here in Jurong West..
There's something else that's been occupying my thoughts, but I don't think I can share it. I'm starting to get slightly paranoid. As is natural when you start to care about something too much! I don't want to end up suffocating the baby by holding it too tight, to use a metaphor. After all, I know in myself that I shouldn't be thinking so much. My priority should be doing well here in OCS. Hm.
I'm just intrigued, that's all.. like never before. Not something I can describe actually, even if you were to ask me why. But I know at the end of the day that it's my own business, and I need only to keep it to myself, and everything would be alright. Ask not for more, and this moment would stay forever.
Hahas.. I bet you are puzzled as to what I am saying =P. That's the point man, that's the point. Hmm.. I wonder if I would one day become a great philosopher and expound about nothing at all like what I am doing now. Hehs. It would be fun, you know. To be remembered as someone who changed the philosophical landscape, by really, just blabbering.
I digress! I think it's time to end this little entry.. I can't wait for book out on Thursday! See you soon!!
The past week has been tumultuous in OCS for me, mainly because of the lost camp pass issue. The week started pretty bad for me because of that. I was quite worried as to what punishment I would receive for..
By mid week, things turned bleaker as more "suay" things came my way. Imminent possibility of us new cadets going for re-Spade, new cadets having to redo IPPT - effectively meaning that LTA Roger lied to us about not having to do it, me getting only a 9.45 for my 2.4km timing - essentially one second away from a gold timing, being scolded by Sergeant Major for having a fuffed up piece of smart 4, and learning that I would have to do guard duty on the 23rd which was slated to be a kayak gathering day to the zoo.
Yes, even Tan Long said that he's never seen anyone as unlucky as me. So he can't blame me for being bitter and cynical! I really think its the feng shui that is clashing with my fantabulous aura!
Things turned out for good eventually. I didn't have any punishment for the camp pass, and there was no re-Spade. God works out everything for my good, it seems. It's a sign to tell me to trust more on His goodness and not be so faithless! And maybe I should not complain so much about my predicament. It's nothing serious, really.
On a lighter note, Ariffin was asking me if I could come up with an English name for myself so that it would be easier to remember my name. Hahas.. so I sort of had a referendum amongst the new cadet.. And they came up with:
Francis Desmond Derrick Alphonso Eduardo
I thought maybe I should call myself Jude after listening to Hey Jude, but then, I finally thought I should be called...
HUNKALICIOUS WEN DEZHI!
Muahahahas.. it has a certain ring to it doesn't it? Call me Hunk for short. "Wen. Hunk Wen." LOL!
Anyway, Jamie is leaving for Melbourne soon.. I'd be really sad! Don't really want her to go, but of course I didn't tell her that. It doesn't really help her I guess. I told her to just go if it would help further her studies. The decision to go is never easy and I must try encourage her mah..
That would mean I would have one less person to call. Although phone costs are supposed to be cheaper in Aussieland, but I'm not counting on it. Guess I don't have the confidence that we would stay in contact. -shrugs- Wah. Hope she doesn't read this. Hahas..
Now, this song below has no real relevance, but I just really like it. Man, KT Tunstall rocks! OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD KT TUNSTALL
Over the sea and far away She's waiting like an iceberg Waiting to change But she's cold inside She wants to be like the water
All the muscles tighten in her face Buries her soul in one embrace They're one and the same Just like water
The fire fades away Most of everyday Is full of tired excuses But it's to hard to say I wish it were simple But we give up easily You're close enough to see that You're the other side of the world to me
On comes the panic light Holding on with fingers and feelings alike But the time has come To move along
The fire fades away
Can you help me Can you let me go And can you still love me When you can't see me anymore
It seems like I have lost my ability to blog these days..
Things are many and quite complex. Complex enough for me to not know how to put them into words. Complex, not in a serious way, but in a way which bothers me quite a lot.
Well, it seems like I'm at a new crossroads of a change in my mindset. Kory was right in Secondary 2 when he said that I was gullible, you know. I know now that I might just be so, so naive. BSLC has taught me that, and I'm beginning to sober to this in other aspects of my life.
Things that I once thought were simple and easily resolvable turned out to be dead knots at every turn. Like how I never knew that my family was so fragile until my sister revealed her semi-depression during her secondary school days, and how I see the hate growing in my brother. I used to brush it off in the past as something that is get-overable. Now I know that there's only God who can fix this mess we muddled into somehow.
Other things that people seem to gain so easily comes with so much effort to me. Just look at Rich and Tan Long and Enqing getting into OCS easily, while I had to take the long route. Don't get me wrong, I'm not envious - I wouldn't give the world for my time in SISPEC - nor am I unhappy to get into OCS like Liansheng thought. It's just that I sometimes catch myself wishing that something in my life could be simple, easy. Just that.
I was really disappointed that I didn't get into Law. I was so sure I could do it. Yes, my results were not the best in the gigantic 4As lot, but I felt so affirmed that I was going to get it. Hence the disappointment. I know I will get it eventually, so strongly because I know God is would grant me the desires of my heart.. but why does everything have to be done by the long way for me?
I'm jaded. Tired with little reprieve. With no one really to talk to.. I know I have good friends, but we just aren't the talk-about-emo-things friends I guess. I thought I could talk to Jamie, but I won't do it somehow. Maybe it's too big a mess to even talk about..
I've always dreamed of going overseas (it somehow strikes me that this is the 3rd consecutive paragraph I've started with 'I'). Not to study.. maybe to study, but more like. A break. A long break to look at rustic buildings. To see London or France where all the movies are made, where buildings have history and are not just high-rise apartments without life. Singapore is so boxy and square that it suffocates me. I want to see expanses of meadows and mountains! I want to shout at the top of my lungs and hear the echo in my ears. I want to sit at a tucked away bistro for half a day watching people pass by. I want to whisper sweet-nothings to someone and feel the warm hug of another. I want, I want, I want! I only dream of these.
What's wrong? Nothing, really.. I'm okae. I'm just feeling claustrophobic, I guess.. I should quit this and carry on with OCS tomorrow. Polish my boots, pack my bags, prepare for the busy day. What else can I do really?
After 8 weeks in BSLC and talking to my bunk mates for so long, I've realised that I am perhaps naive in their eyes.
We had a long chit-chat yesterday, and I can't help but notice that I am really idealistic. I just am not inclined towards thinking badly of others, I guess.
I don't believe that I should change what I am doing because someone else doesn't like it, or disagrees with it. And I don't blame others for having different views from me either. As long as you believe strongly enough that what you are doing is right, you should not be swayed by anything!
The one thing I cannot understand is why people cannot live peacefully with each other, but have to come up with theories as to who dislikes who. Is that not childish at our age? I thought such things only happens in primary schools. Guess I was wrong! Army has such shit too. And the worst thing is that no one wants to do anything about it. Hm.
So is it good that I think better of others, or is it just me being stupid? I think I will just keep being stupid in this case. I'd feel better.
I'm feeling stupid again. Stupid as in emo stupid, not dumb stupid, you stupid!
The past week in camp has been highlighted by the feeling of being alone in this world. There's Zhixue calling his girlfriend every night beside me, Nai Cheng calling his mum everyday across the room, Yongshan calling his friends, and then there's me, not calling anyone, not really smsing anyone because I think I am a nuisance.
Then there's the thought of having no one out here since my family is absorbed in their own little worlds where we don't really care for each other in a very apparent sense, and the rest of the people are in camp in SAFTI.
How did I end up with so little friends I can talk to after living for 18 odd years?
I know why. It's not that I can't talk to my friends. It's me. I'm the person thinking that I'm a nuisance. The only thing preventing me from calling people is my unwillingness to. Why????
I can't really explain it. Maybe I don't want to depend on others. Because if talk to others too much, I might just like it, then I would be even more miserable when those people are not there for me to talk to. And that goes in a vicious cycle. Argh.
Oh wells. The only way out is to stop being silly I guess..
It's pride man. Wanting to feel important in someone else's life. That's pride like what Uncle Kuan Yew preached about today. How to I get past it? Do I want to get past it?
Wanted to post up the sermon for today in SJ, but I don't have enough time now. Need to be at the MRT by 1930hrs! Ahh!!
Nothing much to say, other than the fact that I feel much better as compared to yesterday, and the fact that my grandmother still doesn't remember me. -ouch-
She still doesn't say my name nor recognises me. Perhaps I really don't matter much. Maybe that's why I don't want to go there that often. Hmmmmm.
Aiyah. Shall not ruminate on such things. Another time perhaps. I gotta go.
I didn't intend to blog this book-out. These few days have been pretty depressing for me, for no particular reason. That's really odd for me; I haven't felt like this for quite some time now.
Contrary to the insistent beliefs of Rich and Teckie about my cynicism, I've been mostly happy for a long long time now. Then suddenly this bout of disgruntlement hit me. I wasn't really happy with what I was doing - nothing, basically.
I need someone I can talk to to talk to. Perhaps I need a stranger who knows nothing about me.
Anyways, I shall not say much further here. What good does words do?
I blogged mainly because I saw something I think Liansheng would like. ALANIS MORISSETTE! singing My Humps by the Black Eye Peas, no less.
It sounds very Alanissy, i.e. emo. Quite a nice interpretation of the song really. Very funny. Hahas.. It got me smiling.
Also!, (oh shit I forgot what I was gonna write).
Hmm. Well, I'm trying to watch Heroes, but the server is not exactly working with me. It's perma-stuck at 8%! Disgusting. So now I don't know what Hiro and Ando would do in Las Vegas. Grrrr..
Ah.. now I remember. I'm here to promote BB 60th Tees! Just drop by their website through the link and look at some of those tees. I want to buy!! But I shall wait till 1) I have the money 2) someone approaches me so that it goes to their donations. So if you are reading this, 60th juniors, ask me. =D
I like this design especially. It's like really cute!
If you are interested, do drop them an email alright? It's really cheap at only $15. Hurry, before the prices go up.
Okae.. For now, I can't think of anything more to say. It's been a good distraction, but now I have to go back to sulking. Hahas..
One quickie before I get whisked off to Location X for more grueling training.
Time is more precious now. More than ever. I only have 1 and a half days in the real world now. 5 and a half in a sea of green and grey. Haix. It's all passing too fast!
I have a humongous blister which I could show you if only I had my Sony camera which I crave for. I hope it doesn't impede any of the fast marches or IPPTs or endurance runs we are going to do. Going in with truckloads of plasters just in case..
On a more interesting note, I just found out yesterday that someone from MINDEF still reads my blog. That's quite scary. Considering that I can technically get charged for anything in the world. I feel like I'm in a very good position to get extras, being the a______e IC. Oh wells, shit happens when it happens, as 2LT Mahran likes to say.
On the personal front, I feel that I have reached a new understanding of myself these 2 days again. I found out, after so long, that I am actually not looking out for a relationship. There's just no spark left in me for that. Perhaps it died a long time ago together with my silly naivety. So for Jamie who was trying to insinuate something, sorry, but it's impossible.
But maybe she's right on something else... If I don't like Alicia nor eelings, I must be gay. Hahas.. Unfortunately I don't like guys either.
Haix. I think it's because people I ever liked all have boyfriends. Hahas.. Nah.
This discussion with myself is so gratuitous. Hahas.
More importantly, I am more affected by the condition of my grandmother. She has improved immensely now, being quite talkative and all.. but.... she doesn't remember my name. That kills me. I feel like maybe I'm just not that relevant. At least she mentions my brother, sister and cousin. Maybe I don't really exist in her head. Haix.
Let's not talk about depressing stuff anymore.. I suddenly miss someone whom I know will not miss me. Because well, dinosaurs are more memorable than silly Dezhi. It's no big deal really.. just that sometimes I wish I could talk meaningful crap to people again. I haven't in a long LONG time.
Oh wells.
Adieu people. Back to where I would lead with pride.
Well, we initially planned lunch at Newton Circus. I didn't know that it is barely open for lunch. I should have known! I only ever go there at night.
So anyway, we went all the way there, only to realise that it's closed, mostly. So we made our way to Novena Square.
Wah.. it was the first time I went to Velocity. Pretty boring really.. Feels really small and dead. I guess the crowd just haven't gotten in there yet. But imagine a shopping mall with only sports shops. Pretty boring ain't it?
We spent some time walking around, with Pamela telling me mostly about her newly born cousin. Hahas.. Somehow Pamela always has a way of making me feel un-awkward. No silences. =)
We eventually found this Korean restaurant at Square 2 and decided to eat there. OMG. The food there is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! We were actually waiting for something bad to enter our palate, but nothing was bad! A set meal only costs about $8 - $10, and they give you free appetisers such as kimchi, preserved vegetables, pumpkin porridge, etc. And they all taste great. This coming from a guy who does NOT like kimchi! Man!
You can find this shop at the Korean floor of Square 2. If I'm not wrong, it's the 3rd floor. Drop me an email to tell me that you found it delicious okae? (Okae, I'm imagining I have a Xiaxue/Mr Brown/Mr Miyagi/any-other-famous-blogger sized reading crowd here)
We later on went to visit Kayne at Thompson Medical Centre. HE IS SO CUTE! But I felt quite awkward amongst aunties and uncles I didn't really know, so I couldn't exactly gush out right there. Hahas.. And Norman and Elise are super cute too! Like hyper. I would want kids like them. So free and so energetic. Ahhhhhhhhhh!! I suddenly want kids. Hahas.
Man, I just thought of the cutest yet perhaps unromantic proposal: Will you be the mother of my children? Girls would probably cringe about now.
So anyway, I had to leave when Kayne's mum had to breastfeed him. HMM...
...
:: BBQ at Rich's. (22/3 - 23/3)
I don't particularly like BBQs. It's too much smoke and uncooked food for me. But this barbeque was nice. Nice in a homely sense of the word. We had Ivan, Rich, Tan Long, Enqing, Chow, Liansheng, WOO CHIAO (like never seen him since aeons ago!!) and Esther (Rich's sister).
I must say, Esther and Liansheng can really barbeque well. I tried and I burnt everything. Hahas..
Anyways, it was the usual stayover at Rich's house thang. We played Ivan's PS most of the time, and then we played DotA too, and Taboo! Check out Rich's blog entry for our hilarious answers to weird questions. =)
It was Chow's and Tan Long's birthdays, by the way.. Strange that no big deal was made out of it. We had no cake or anything, only the big bottle of Absolut Vodka which Chow brought from his chalet and no one really drank. It's like 40% alcohol. Would YOU drink it?
Well well, we later went on to eat chicken rice for lunch at a supposedly famous stall when we got sufficiently awake.. It's not really good. Hmm.
Then DotA! again, where I got totally thrashed by Tan Long. Gee. It's super imbar with Tan Long around. Haix. Don't think I would be able to get as good as him. But hey, I'm proud of my Enchantress. Hahas..
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:: Dinner with Jamie, Alicia and Bee (23/3)
Jamie decided to treat me to dinner to make up for all the pang-sehs, so we got Ali and Bee too. Too bad MK couldn't make it. I really wanted to see her. Hmm.
So anyway, I was quite happy to see Jamie too. But she was her usual self larh. Nothing special. A bit tired-looking though. Those black-eyes, are really black!
We met at Dhoby Ghaut, and took an eternity deciding on what to eat. Ended up watching a bouldering competition outside. I totally feel like learning rock climbing now! If only I were not enslaved to our great nation. Oh well, I'm not complaining. Just pondering about the possibilities if life were different.
Anyways, after the girls had enough boy-ogling time, we went on to Sakae for a party set. It's amazing how that little about of sushi can satisfy me everytime.. But this Sakae was really quite bad. Their sushi fell off before it reached the mouth. It would just disintegrate by the time it lands on the shoyu and wasabe. Irks!
It was nice catching up with the girls though.. Look at some of the pictures we took! =) Jamie wants to go to Australia for further education, and Bee and Ali were basically discussing how to spell ophthalmology. I was bored enough for a while to remember that I was going to SISPEC, bringing a tinge of sadness to my eyes. I didn't know that bothered me until then. Hmm.
THANKS JAMIE FOR TREATING ME TO DINNER!
After dinner we basically walked around PS aimlessly looking at little trinkets and stuff. There was this shop called Made With Love that really caught my eye. I actually saw it a couple of months ago, but forgot about it. Man, I wish I could do all those scrappings too without coming off as being too gay. They are really pretty you know.. I'm amazed at the sheer number of scrappings and creative photo albums they have made.
If you ever go to Plaza Singapura, you MUST go there. It's on level 3.
We later went on to the gratuitous deed of eating 50c ice-cream on my treat. Ahh.. So heartwarming. Hahas.. Well, at least until I had to rush off for Mr Bean's Holiday!
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:: Mr Bean's Holiday (23/3)
Tan Long decided to have some section/clique movie thing, so we went watching Mr Bean without knowing that his section mates would be there. HMMM..
The movie was really funny and whimsical, I would say. But Ivan didn't seem to like it. I can see why.. It was a little forced, I guess, and it left us with nothing much, except that we watched a Mr Bean movie. But hey, some of the scenes were really good.. Like when Mr Bean was miming a song, and when the video was playing at the end..
They filmed the whole scene in France on purpose so that Bean would not talk, I think. True to the Bean spirit, he did lotsa crazy things. Hahas.. Go watch it. But on DVD.
3 Stars!
Well.. That ends my very hectic 2 days.. WAH. Finally. Okae.. I have to faster post. My battery running low le. Till next time! Auf Wiedersehen!
I return home surprisingly happy. It's been a few days since I've been feeling this happy!
Went out for gymswim with Rich, Teckie and Chow this morning, and we eventually went to Vivo cos Rich's classmates wanted to go Sentosa and we decided to crash.
Wah.. His classmates are totally out of my league. I just have a problem with people with thick accents. Like. Not Singaporean enough for me. I know, personal bias! But I can tell they are good people. It's just I who is the anti-social b***h.
Anyways, his friends, Aysuria and Victor had to leave, so it was left with Rich, Teck and I to walk around.. (Zhaoyu had to leave for church stuff) Erm.. we basically went around looking for sunglasses for Teck's friend, and a weighing scale for my sister as birthday presents. Hmm..
I wonder what we were doing in between though.. we seem to have spent quite a lot of time. Hahas. Oh! I was looking for khaki bermudas. There was this shop called Island something which had really nice clothes. Too bad they cost a bomb! Like. $105 for bermudas. Man! Do they think army boys are rich? Fine, they probably don't target poor dudes like us.
We went for Ben & Jerry's later on then, and Rich treated us to a Merlionster! Wow. It was orgasmic. The brownies with ice-cream was great. I liked that they added bananas too. Although I really am not a fan of their ice-cream. Too thick and sore throat causing for me. Erghs. Island Creamery is much better. Less taxing on my oesophagus.
It was at B&J where I got a call from SMU to tell me that I got through for Law! Supposed to get an interview somewhere near the end of March. Hope my new unit lets me get off to go man.. THEY HAVE TO!!!!! Law law law! I really hope I get into NUS Law too. Law law LAW!!!
Okae, back to the day. We eventually made our way to Sentosa after walking to Harbourfront Centre and then back to Vivo. The monorail is amazingly hard to find. Grr. We went there on a whim, really. It was already too late for a good tan, and everyone who was supposed to go left, like I said earlier..
We went anyway. Using the new monorail! It's quite cool really.. They now have cards for entry into Sentosa. It's only $3, and the pass works like an EZlink card. Tap and enter. Easy peasy.
The train had interesting handlebars which rose from the ground instead of a rod which goes right through the whole train vertically like typical MRTs. The seats are bright yellow and look more uncomfortable than they really are. The view.. well, wasn't really nice, unless you are into oil tankers. But the short stretch of water dividing Sentosa and mainland Singapore is pretty pleasing though.. A peaceful green and blue. Ahh.. Serenity.
We went to Siloso Beach. It was beautiful. The sun was setting, and the water was lapping in slowly. I kept thinking to myself, "if only a girl was with me right now!" It's unfortunate that I have no girlfriend to share such moments though.
ANYWAYS! We spent some time taking photos, walking in the sand, etc. Basically we walked from one end of Siloso to the other end. And we saw the nicest sandcastle (more like sand compound) ever! Apparently some company having a function there had it made. Hmm.
When we were all really tired of walking and all, we took the tram to Cafe Del Mar, thinking it would be a sight to behold, and it would be really cool since there was so much hype about it. Guess what? It was a bloody container. It looks as permanent as whyteboard marker ink in rain. All white, neon lights on the inside. It gave us a "don't come in, I am not a nice place to be" feel. And so we left.
We decided to settle our dinner at Sakae. Got a party set. Quite delicious really. Exorbitant portions. I was full before I finished. I was quite surprised, really.. I never expected myself to get full on sushi without eating their buffet lunch.
There was of course the mandatory chit-chat, where I started talking about my feeling like I haven't really held a real conversation with anyone since ______g and ____n. People change all the time, I guess.. Nothing we can do to stop them. It all got slightly depressing.. But at the same time, I felt it was heartwarming. We hardly get to talk like that anymore. Recently it has always been about army, and things and other things. Never really about thoughts. So that was great. Wonderful!
Then came more shopping at Vivo. Logically we made our way back to Vivo (duh!) Teck got kind of stressed looking for white sunglasses for Cher (his friend). I found it weird that he actually called her to ask exactly what she wants. I guess it makes sense that then she would definitely like her present, but what about the element of surprise and pleasure at getting something you didn't know you would get and YET still like? I prefer getting people things without them knowing what it's going to be.
We were also looking out for caps too, because Teck came to the conclusion that he looks good in caps. Or maybe he looks ugly without. Or maybe he just likes the idea of a cap. The sad thing is that he didn't get a cap. I did. And man, do I love my cap!! Muahahahas.. When I laid my eyes on it, it was like WHAM! BAM! ALAKAZAM! I knew I had to buy it. Even IF I don't look nice in it. But I think I do.. I do!!
Harry's Bar was next. Randolph rocked. He was the one-man-band playing guitar there. Somehow his guitar allows him to loop his music and the beating of the guitar to come up with some really beautiful music. He sang With Or Without You by U2. His voice was thick and baritone with a relaxed feel to it. It was great.
Then there were the people playing pool. I am convinced that I would need years of training before I can play pool in a bar. They are like. Inhuman. Superb. Their cue ball freaking spins! Disgusting!!
The drinks were great too.. My favourite was my second drink, Pina Colada. Hahas.. both Rich and Teck warned me against it because they said it was going to be a bad combination, but it turned out great. Even they had to admit that it was good. *beams!* I liked Teck's kahlua with cream too. Sweet and rich texture. My third would be the passion fruit margarita. Sweet! The ice was quite refreshing too.. Much better than the screwdriver I had in EskiBar. I'm never going to Eski again! Feel like going to Harry's in Esplanade though... I've got a feeling it would be great.
Oh, they had killer nachos too. OM!! The cottage cheese and the salsa was wonderful. And their beef is tastes better than that in Carl's Jr Chilli Cheese Fries. Simply delicious man.
Harry's impresses me totally. Like 4.99 stars. I want to try Hard Rock Cafe next. I heard they have huge burgers. Hahas.. But that's another story for another day. Right now, I have to sleep.
If only you saw the look on Uncle Simon's face this morning. It was golden. It was pride. The warm feeling of seeing your son accomplish something. Chee Kit was executing some very nice drum rolls during worship. Wonderful for a newbie. Truly amazing.
Perhaps the reason why the 3 of us turned out to be such defeatists is probably because our parents never did show such pride in us before. At least not to us. It was always, "Why didn't you get better?" or "Did so-and-so do better?". That's why there was a general trend of us 3 slipping in grades in secondary school.
Sometimes I think why I am so low on self-esteem, and I can't help but wonder if things would be different if my parents gave more affirmation to my deeds. Like if they supported me more in the things I did, like drama or piano. Maybe everything would have been different. I would have turned out to be a fuller person because I would want to fulfill the expectations of parents.
I don't blame them though. It was a different generation back then. People were not as articulate about their feelings then as compared to modern times. Parents hit children to show concern. Parents left kids alone because they had so many children to begin with. I understand how these things can be carried forward to us when they raised us..
But. Could things have been different?
Looking at some people I know, they emanate confidence like some spring. I have to act it. Slowly I am gaining some self-assurance and affirmation on my strong points, like being a people person or being able to speak well, being able to write, etc. Slowly I sense myself feeling better about myself. Yet there is always this self-consciousness which keeps me from putting my whole self out there for people to decimate.
And the fact that I think that people will decimate me. How come other people are forever half full while I struggle with half emptiness?
I can only thank God that these things are improving for me, and I know I will eventually walk out of such emotional baggages. Until then, there's CCC to help me realise my potential and really give me a space whereby I am not looked down upon (real or imaginary) and where people are so kind and real and supportive. Never before have I experienced this before CCC.
Speaking of which, I was thinking of starting a new blog on top of this to chart my spiritual journey, so that things would not be so convoluted here.. That's still in preliminary stages though.. I don't really know if I want to do that and risk sounding like a schizophrenic with two stories in two blogs.
I must be a greying net-user. Or blogger, to be more precise.
Notice how I almost never put photos up anymore?
And I haven't updated my friendster in more than a year. The most activity I have on it is just approving pending friend requests.
What happened to my life?!
My flickr is quite dead, and so is my tagboard, with only Shu Juan's occasional shouts. Hahas..
Maybe it's time to get out there and start living instead of playing DotA and watching movies all the time. There has got to be more than this! I should start reading more so that I have more interesting things to write about. Hm.
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In a stroke of coincidence, I am currently watching GREY's Anatomy (lame!). Wah.. Never realised the wonders of internet until I went to this site which my buddy Daniel introduced. It allows you to watch all the seasons of hot drama series like Heroes, Desperate Housewives, etc!! I just hope it doesn't get too popular, or they'd have to pull it off. But since I love you guys, and since there should be an incentive to read my blog (muahahhahas), here's the link.
Surprisingly it doesn't take a long time to load. And it's totally free!
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Well, I should be getting back to Meredith. I'm really bored, aren't I?
The random ramblings of a very happy guy who used to be emo. Watch me turn my daily chaos into logical outflows!
RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME I am currently studying in university and aspires to have a career in Marketing for an FMCG. I have a recent obsession with Social Media Marketing, so you are gonna see a lot of that here.
I also do a little bit of design work, though an amateur at best. I love good design though!
Life goes into overdrive; everything passes by so fast that everything looks still; a uniform blur.
The shopping got really tiring because my feet were hurting, and I didn't sleep until 2+ a.m. the night before worrying about the tests I would have to do when I step back into Circwood. (I am still very worried, by the way!) But I guess I can't compare myself to Chow lah. He didn't sleep at all, but wasted his whole night in MOS. Literally.
I might have neglected them abit eh? But seriously, Wei Lun is the best partner I can ever have, and Conrad and Gracia are about the weirdest and cutest couple I've ever seen. Hahas.. Just look at them!
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