Friday, June 25, 2010

FOC.

FOC just ended! And I had marvellous sleep for the first time in 4 days.

It ended on a high note at Timbre, but I think what I took back with me would be a lot more different from what the freshies got. It's kind of different when you experience FOC for the second time, and in the perspective of a senior.

You know, I left feeling very socially inadequate. I found it so hard to click with the juniors because the things that we knew were so different! There was such a big gap there that it was almost impossible to empathise with their situation anymore. Did my seniors feel that way?

On the part of the seniors, I know we all had fun. I was lucky to have seniors who were so easy to work with in my OG and we were still high-spirited despite our OG's showing. Well, like what Ying Hui says, the most important thing is to have fun!

4 days of shouting is no joke. Plus the fact that I could see Kai Li but couldn't really talk to her at all. I thought dry run was bad, or CIMA was bad. But FOC was even worse. I really think not seeing and not talking is so much better than seeing and not being able to interact. That's why I think it's good that she's not going for Rag also lah.

Anyways, now that that is done, the remaining of my holidays are officially saturated with only one thing - RAG. Good luck Bschool, LET'S ROCK THE HOUSE DOWN~!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

What I learnt at LifeGroup today.

There was a dinner at the nearby coffeeshop. I went not without trepidation today because I knew it was going to be awkward without Chee Keen there. I wonder how I will survive LifeGroup when he goes to Scotland? I went anyways. And you know what? It turned out to be quite alright. Sure, I had to gobble my fried rice as fast as I could as they were already finished with their dinner, but everyone was friendly and cool. Now, why was I afraid?

The lesson of the night was basically about the Holy Spirit. Pastor Norman touched on the Spirit being our Counsellor, and also being God. He also spent quite a lot of time explaining about tongues and the controversy behind it, which was really illuminating. You know, I never realised that all the answers were in the Bible all this while! If you ever wondered if everyone could receive tongues, if you should be speaking in tongues in church, if tongues even exist, it's all there! 1 Corinthians 14. Check it out.

Anyways, what I really took back was actually from the sharing by the rest. I guess I shall skip right to what my takeaways were, because what others shared are supposed to be confidential.

Basically I began to see that Ma's nagging about my spending nights out was probably more out of worry than a desire to control my life. All these while, I felt really frustrated because I really didn't know why they were blaming me if I did nothing wrong. Well, I guess worry doesn't really work that rationally. It's true that my staying out late would logically cause them to worry.

Then there's the issue with spending. I have tried to keep spending at a minimum, but I guess it can appear that I spend beyond my means because I wanted to go overseas? I initially convinced Ma because I realised I will not get to go anywhere for the rest of my uni life except for the student exchange because basically it's time to chiong internships. Well, I guess she forgot about it. And I guess it's difficult to understand why I would want to go to Vietnam? That part I haven't really understood yet.

Anyways! I learnt that I should have more patience and understanding to see things from the perspective of others. I also felt convicted that I should be more gentle with my words too. Somehow I have become quite quick to come to conclusions about people, and that's really not right. Where's the long-suffering kindness? That's something I have to learn all over again I guess.

Another takeaway was to make more space for God to work in my life rather than have the mentality of having to strive to make it in university. You know, it's so easy to fall into the mindset of wanting to do anything to snatch any possible mark in my modules so that I can get a higher CAP score. And as Chee Keen rightly put it, there's nothing wrong with it. But I really want to learn to prioritize God as first in my life before studies. That means making more space for him, trusting him to be for me, and relying on His Providence in times of need.

Yup. Thank God I went for LifeGroup!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Summer.

This holidays turned out to be pretty sucky.

I am beginning to hate staying at home, and everyone seems to be caught up with something but me. Everyone in JEDIT is busy, Kai Li has CIMA together with Cam, Boss and Zhitong, and TYL has Rag to busy her with. What do I have? Well, I have FOC, I have Rag. But somehow they are not enough to keep me busy.

I feel attacked from all sides and maybe it's good that I keep to myself for a while...

Oh anyways, I just submitted my Study Award application. Wish me luck!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

I CUT MY HAIR!

So! I promised muff I would let him cut my hair when I come back from Vietnam.. So that's what I did today! And here's how it went...


You know, it's really a little too radical for my taste, but I am growing to like it =DD
Hopefully my girlfriend likes it too!

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

That's What I'm Here For.

This song is the latest one that has been stuck in my head. It was playing through all the Shanghainese music last night, and it's somehow still playing in my head...

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Not having the blog as my homepage really makes me blog less. I guess it's true, what they say - out of sight, out of mind..

So. Why am I blogging now? Well, mainly because I am bored. I am at a wedding dinner that refuses to start, filled with relatives whom I don't really know but know each other. Of course, as with all of my entries, that is but an excuse.

The real reason is that I am feeling quite emo today. It might jus be the lack of sleep I guess.. But it sucks nonetheless. I miss someone I can't see, and most likely won't see for another week. I feel crappy about my grades because it's just 'okay'. It's not going to take me places. I am going nowhere.. I am suddenly struck by a crippling self-pity that I normally despise. Yes, you heard it. It's an audible expletive building up.

I am sitted here around a red table, but I really wish i were at home and sleeping away. What am I doing here? Where are you?
 
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