Saturday, June 27, 2009

A series of unfortunate events.

It all starts with my scratching the car we JUST BOUGHT last Sunday at Far East Plaza.

Frankly, I was quite surprised that I got off so easily. No railing at me being irresponsible and clumsy, no demanding that we scrape the car right away, blah blah blah...

YESTERDAY,
I SCRATCHED MY CAR AGAIN at Ivan's. Haix. Luckily it's the same are so we just need to repaint one door. Then I got a freaking parking fine because I forgot to put coupon. And Ivan didn't even get it even though he intentionally not put the coupon! Wah. Suay sia..

TODAY. I went to NUS thinking that the homecoming thing was still on. Haix. I should have known. So I wasted like $20 in transport just to enjoy the scenery and come all the way back. Bleh.

I got something when I was taking the train back though... There is no such thing as luck, and all things happen for a reason. If God allowed this to happen, I really believe it is to convince me of that. That He has reign over my circumstances and it's not a series of fluke events. I was quite encouraged by the words given to me by Pastor Angeline yesterday.

我会尽量加油地改变我悲观的人生观的!

Sunday, June 21, 2009



We have been playing way too much DotA! All becoming 宅男 already..

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Training Week #7 #8 #9

Woah, I seem to be neglecting my training progress a lottt!

Blame it on the newfound laziness. Hahas.. Actually more on the gloomy weather. Somehow there are always some dark clouds decorating the sky even when it NEVER rains.

So I have been exercising very little.. here is a summary for the 3 weeks I have missed...

Activities:
11/6 Thursday - 20 lap swim
10/6 Wednesday - 5 km run + 6 pull-ups
31/5 Sunday - 40 lap swim front crawl! (2km)
27/5 Wednesday - 30 lap swim front crawl (1.5km)
25/5 Monday - Gym (Abs, Arms, Chest), 1 km Run

Stats:
Height: 1.8 m
Weight: 82.5 kg
BMI: 25.46 kgm-2

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Drive.

I seem to be feeling a lot better this week. I must be acclimatising to stay-home life! To my surprise, time seems to be passing really quickly at home. Somehow it's slower in the office. Aww!

Anyways, I plan to go back to office to surprise them a little on Tuesday with Old Chang Kee Chicken & Mushroom puffs. =)

I am still trying to find myself after Army. Seems like this season is a time for me to really consolidate my traits and find something I am really good and passionate about. I am gonna be a successful and driven AND God-fearing dude too!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Reflecting..

The unemployed life seems to make time go a lot faster. A little bit of playing The Sims 3 and a whole afternoon is gone. I seem to be doing so much less though. All the plans to run every day seems to be backfiring. Hahas..

There's still a teeny weeny bit of the 'down' feeling left. I realised that a huge part of it comes from my having so little confidence in myself, and how I saw that the people around me don't really have faith in me. The funny thing is that I got to see this from a DotA game..

Hahas.. you see, I was never really good at the game, mainly because I refused to invest too much time in mastering the denying and farming stuff that makes one better at the game. I realised at our last DotA session though, that I was really sensitive about others criticising my gameplay. The truth is, a sucky player doesn't like others to say that he is sucky. I see that now. Sorry friends for being an ass!

I was also a little sad that when I was battling this personal inner struggle thing, there was no one to pick me up. Which is just as well, you know. Makes it a better stronger lesson. There wouldn't be someone to pick me up all the time. Is this how my brother and uncle felt? That no one cared even though we never told anyone? It's a paradoxical thing to feel for sure, but it's so real that it's quite disturbing.

Ultimately, I really want to thank Dr Khoo for his message on Sunday. It somehow pulled me out of the whole thing and told me to focus on Abandoning my old ways, Adjusting my life to Jesus, and Asking God's opinion. Which really seems little at first glance, but is so deep when I think of it. Because really, this bout of 'whateveryoucallit' is really me hanging on to my old ways, and refusing to let go isn't it?

I'm still learning and trying to get rid of my little and large quirks. God willing!

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Turmoil.

It is difficult for me to describe what I have been feeling these few days. I guess the best way to say it is to borrow a line from a novel I recently read (Doghead by Morten Ramsland): I let the darkness pass through me.

It was a ginormungous mixture of self-doubt, bitterness about the past, fear of the future, loneliness and boredom. And perhaps a show of my lack of faith in God's goodness?

If I really wanted to start talking about it, the whole thing would have to be dragged all the way to my very first memory. But some things are better left unsaid and I don't feel comfortable being so exposed.

Suffice to say, I have to learn to like myself more.

LIKE YOURSELF MORE, MR SUAN!

Monday, June 01, 2009

The Understudy by David Nicholls

This is a story of a Steve McQueen chasing his dreams of stardom. But never really making it. He acts as the DEAD BODY in TV series, and stars in a theatrical production as a GHOST who has no lines.

This is story of how working hard didn't triumph over having the talent. We see how Steve McQueen struggles throughout the whole story while the antagonist Josh Harper basically cruises through his whole life that is paved out for him simply because he can act.

The delivery of the story is witty and doused in humour, and you feel how pathetic Steve really is, even if you sympathise with his bad luck and lack of The Big Break.

As the story unfolds, we see how Josh Harper is all that Steve wants to be, and how Steve eventually finds his own way amidst all the failures of non-career. He eventually falls in love with Josh's beautiful wife, who is overshadowed by her husband.

In my opinion, the story tells us of how we should search for what we are really good at in life instead of what we want to be. We all seek that 'stardom' and buy into the belief of being the best of what you are good at being equal to being good at what you like, which is often not the case.

A very readable book with witty lines to keep MRT rides pleasant.
 
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