Clueless.

I am in one of my dark moods again and I'm wearing all black to celebrate that.

It has been going on for a while now, and the horrible class gathering yesterday just managed to exacerbate it. The thing is, I have been wondering about my passion and what I am good at. I have an idea, but I generally feel like a jack of all trades and a headless chicken.

It amazes me to see people who are working towards a certain goal. Becoming a teacher, doing sports photography, setting up blogshops.. Yet up till now, I don't really know what I am going after. Too much time thinking of nonsense and non-existent relationships, and so little time spent on thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life.

A kayaker we knew passed away 3 days ago in MacRitchie. The first thing I thought of when I heard the news was, "At least he died doing something he loved". What could that be for me?

I love kayaking too. The feeling when you are paddling in water and the rest of the world seems to be less important.

I love writing. Talking to yourself as if the paper you write on can understand what you are trying to say to it.

Reading. Escaping into fantastical novels of intrigue or rags-to-riches stories, or conspiracy theories.

But seriously, I don't know. And the feeling of not knowing sucks. I wish I knew..