Spirit and Soul

I finally found what I lacked today at church: Passion - a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.

I arrived at church in a weirded mood. I wasn't too happy with the fact that I actually missed the bus that morning. Worship was really bad for me because I couldn't feel the presence of God at all. I was singing the words and just stopping after a while because it became so difficult to even sing. I felt nothing. It wasn't even frustration.. Just difficulty.

Naturally, I didn't get any messages from God during the call. Then I asked God why I was feeling that way and prayed to have that feeling lifted off me. It didn't really work immediately because I remained rather moody throughout the sermon.

How my mood was eventually turned, I never realised. But I knew that the call was for me when Dr Khoo talked about the revival of passion in life that comes with receiving the word of God. I didn't answer the call because I felt the need to work things out on my own. Hmm.. I actually told God that I wanted to try working it out myself.

And so I did.. I began to see that a lot of my problems in school work, even piano, lies in the fact that I have enthusiasm in spurts but not passion in the all-consuming sense. I do not view things to have an impact on others or me.

This results in apathy and perhaps less than sufficient practice and work done.. Bad bad bad..

So here's my challenge!: To find passion in the things I do. Gambatte ne!