Woebegone

I have been feeling increasingly unhappy these few days. It seems to be getting worse and I almost cried at church today. The most horrible feeling is that of having to act like everything is dandy when I feel like crap in fact. A close second is the feeling of helplessness of not knowing how to make things right. Not knowing how to make myself feel happy again.

You know, the most ridiculous thing is that I don't really know why I am feeling like that. If I were a girl I could explain it away as a simple case of hormonal imbalances during 'that time of the month'. If I were younger I could be emo. But here I am - old, past that age of innocence and angst, yet somehow mortally devastated.

I thought I was over the whole 'thing'. Everything was cool, and then suddenly something like that happens, and I wonder if I really know myself. When did I allow myself to get so.. wishy washy?

I need some perspective in all this. Or maybe I just need a memory eraser to wipe things clean. As the movie like to put it, "nothing good will come out of this". Argh.....

路小雨 Lu Xiao Yu - 不能说的秘密 Bu Neng Shuo De Mi Mi