prick of blood spreading.

The past week has been one of ups and downs. The week before that was much worse, given all the uncertainty. I have come to realise that I'm not one who is privy with giving details to my sources of pain, especially not when the magnitude of the hurt is large enough.

There are just some people in different stages in your life that you can never conceive living without. It might be the form teacher during primary school, or that best friend when you were in secondary school. It could be anyone. Yet sometimes God tests us in that way, I guess. It's not easy.. in fact, it's very very difficult. It's hard for me to put all these into words because I haven't been writing about what I feel for a long time now. There's just been too much curtains decorating this window to my soul.

Suffice to say, everything is at least more peaceful now. I have come to terms with what I have to take on now, and I can face it. I won't dare say things are better now though. Because they aren't. I could definitely live without all of these. It's totally crappy. I can't begin to describe how bad it has been for me. It's like reliving moments years ago when I saw someone close just slipping away without the ability to do anything to stop it. It makes me want to scream stop it! It makes me want to tell everyone that hey, I love you, so please don't disappear okae?

I should just convince myself that I'm just being emo. I'm just being emo.