piano weeping memories.

I have been hooked to watching Lang Lang videos on YouTube lately. If you don't already know who is Lang Lang, he is a fat Chinese pianist who happens to be a genius. It's quite funny to watch the videos, because he is such an animated pianist. I somehow feel more drawn to Yundi Li though, because he fits my perceived image of a pianist better. He feels more dignified and reserved as compared to the explosive and feisty Lang Lang. Anyways, this all started when my piano teacher, Ms Goh, got me to watch the video of Lang Lang playing Chopin using an orange... It's totally random, I know!

Anyways, one of my men cried today. I realised that I can't really understand men crying... Yes, I get why he cried, but I just felt that it was excessively emo on his part. I think all the rejection I got is starting to cause me to withdraw from normal emotional reactions and causing me to be more indifferent to other's emotional needs (I read all this in a book). Can this all be true? Hmm. Maybe I should have said what I felt then.. Alas, all is lost!

I've been having this same scene of studying in Nanyang outside the LTs on the ground level. It was one of the days where we were studying for A levels there. It was also around there where we had rehearsals for Chinese Drama Night. Somehow the scene is particularly vivid in my mind: the red walls, yellow doors, long stairs up, five of us studying... Those were the days when I really felt that I had people caring for me. Right now we are all so busy with our own new lives, and non-lives for some, that it's impossible to recreate that again. I miss school!!! University come quickly!