Sorted Out?

The fact is, thinking about good things in the past don't make them come back. It only makes the present seem bleaker.

I've thought it through.. I might have really loved my life before (and I don't, because I just keep looking back and back), but it's the here and now I live in. It's really easy for me to think of so many things when a familiar song plays on my iPod, or when I see something. It is quite scary to think so much. I've often wondered if I am really crazy inside..

Life's like that I guess.. Countless days of telling yourself to get off your ass and move on. Hmm.. can this be what God means when he says to take up His cross daily? To choose to live, instead of muddling in the past, in sin, or whatever.

Memories exist for us to know that the present is much better than the past, and sweet memories exist to pepper our lives with sweet reminescences when things get tough.

So hey, I am just going to enjoy this thrill ride before its all over. Only 3 months left! That means I would only have so much time to spend with my present reality. Gotta grab every second of it before they turn into the past I want to be in. Gotta cherish my present!

And of course, work hard in the process!!!!

birthdaes

I must have been quite upset yesterday to start typing nonsense.

Today was quite bad too.. I went to school with a heavy head on my shoulders. Hmmm.. And I came back home feeling really dizzy. With a terrible headache. Maybe I can't study for too long in one day. Hmm..

Anyway, the season of birthdays are coming soon.. Today was Lester's birthday, and it's gonna be Genial, Jun Xiong and Xi Xun's on the 5th. And of course 11, 12, 13 are consecutive birthdays I am supposed to remember.

I'm gonna do something special this year: Forget all their birthdays.

Yeah. I'm a jerk. Hahas.. but I think we are going out for my brother's birthday, so I can't really forget that. But the rest.. well.. I don't know. I've just been too tired and busy for anything. Maybe I can just fade out of existence like I have been doing.. Fade into the background, into the past. That would be nice.

Well.. if you don't get an sms from me, here's wishing you a happy birthday beforehand. You know I love you all! I just need time to hide away from people. And things. Especially work.

Heaven Forbid

Heaven Forbid
The Fray

Twenty years, it's breaking you down
Now that you understand there's no one around
Take a breath, just take a seat
Your falling apart and tearing at the seems

Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It's on your face, is it on your mind
Would you care to build a house of your own
How much longer, how long can you wait
It's like you wanted to go and give yourself away

Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright
Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)
It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)
It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)
It feels good (Is that reason enough for you)

Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright
Heaven forbid you end up alone, you don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

Out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one
I don't know how to get you out of this one

Sometimes when I think back, it still hurts.

But I want to think back! Because back was so beautiful, and now is just neverending work and endless assignments with the A levels looming.

It's funny how I can be so lonely in a world so full of people.

Life was tough then too.. but I had time on my hands, I had friends by my side not slogging to bloodbath a path to success. I had someone I could talk to.

It's amazing how difficult it is to talk to someone now. To even articulate anything.

Broken promises and tides of time have tsunamied everything away.. What's left is just scraps of memories like debris. Leaving me to wonder if the past really happened, or was just another figment of my imagination.

ARGH!!! I miss you. Oh well.. I shoulld remember that you are no longer you. You are kind of dead. What do you do when people you know are dead?

Ouch!

I've been suffering from red eyes for quite some time now. Like really red eyes. And I don't know why! They just turned red one day and never became white again. And it's really quite irritating because my eyes ache after a while, and I start to tear without realising it.

Ahh!! Pray for my recovery pls!!!