sunday blues.

It's already Sunday and I am dreading the return to my work. My endless work. It has been days and days of working past eleven o'clock or staying over, and I just hope I can find some kind of rest from it all after the Inspection.

To speak the truth, this was nothing I expected when I was still in 5th LOCC. I knew it would be a hard road, but I always imagined some sort of encouragement. Now that I am actually in my job, I realise it's a cheerless job. Don't expect your boss to praise or encourage you, because you are merely doing your job. If you screw up, it's your fault and you deserve to be sarcastically reprimanded. Politics. I'm so tired of it all.

Just returned home from going to my grandmother's house. We went to the temple to pray to my grandfather before Chinese New Year. Isn't it ironic? A Christian going to a temple instead of church on a Sunday morning. I just couldn't refuse my mother... I haven't been to Grandma's for weeks now, so if I can go, I will.

I heard from Mum that my brother thinks that I don't care about going to visit Grandma and only about going out and having fun. What does he know? She remembers his name. She doesn't give a blank look to him. Perhaps it's a vicious cycle. The more I don't go, the more she doesn't remember... But. I just can't stand it. I especially hate it when my uncle asks her if she remembers my name, as if he has to emphasise the fact that she doesn't.

I need to get out somehow. All this is killing me.