keeping me without chains.

I wish you were still here. There are really time when I miss a decent conversation. Just having someone to call and talk about nothing much in particular. Was there such a time? Or did I actually imagine it? Sometimes I really can't tell anymore.

Thoughts have a way of getting convoluted when the brain stops working. And my brain hasn't been working for quite a while. Work work work is all I can think about, and the feelings are just not there anymore. The desire for something more in life. The hope that there is more to our living than 8 to 5 and getting enough money. The dreams of vacationing or being transplanted in a foreign country where buildings are actually really buildings! They are just not so much there anymore.

Replaced is a sense of being lost. I don't really know how to move on with life except to let it move on by itself, day by day lost into meaninglessness. I don't experience things as acutely anymore. And sometimes I wonder if it's because I lost you.

It really freaks me out to think that life for the next 80 years (yes I am going to be a centenarian) is going to be like this. Can it be? I certainly hope not.

Maybe I just miss you.

300th

I failed my Final Theory!

SAD.

I got upset enough to not want to meet Liansheng at VivoCity. And I basically slept/stoned my off day away. Haix.

gravity.

Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here till the moment I'm gone. You hold me without touch; you keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain. Set me free, leave me be... I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity...

sara bareilles

I'm falling in love with Sara Bareilles! She's tall, she has long hair, and she has a cool spelling name! My kind of girl. Hahas..

I first heard her "Love Song" on radio, but only managed to find out her name from the mahjong session at Ivan's last Saturday. Then I went to look her up in YouTube. And it was wow! She is a fusion of KT Tunstall with the vocals of Sara Groves. There is also this tinge of Corrinne May. This is exactly the kind of music I love. Jazzy and yet not exactly so. Hmm.. Plus the fact that she plays the piano!

There was this particular song that really caught me up because of what it said.

I am going to go buy her CD the moment I get my next pay!

Work has been hard as usual.. I am starting to develop a tendency to procrastinate because of the things that keep piling and piling. And because I procrastinate, I feel more and more stressed because things keep piling up even more. You get the drift.

It's horrid.