Rant 4 // Midnight.

It's one forty-three in the morning right now, but I don't feel like sleeping yet.

My MSN chatter got tired and when to sleep, but I can't really sleep right now. If only Shuying were awake now. We could exchange one-worded replies. Hahas.. Really, she is likely to be the only one I know who would be awake at this hour..

Have you ever been breathless before? Not the running-till-you-are-breathless kind. The breath-taken-away kind. Tan Long, I know you haven't. I doubt Jaden has either (did I spell it right? Or is it Jayden, or Jaedon?) It discomforts me. Makes me feel as if I don't have control over my own emotions.

Emotions are a powerful tool. Some accuse charismatics of using music and impactful speeches to manipulate emotion to gain their scale of popularity and eventually - money. Now that I am in a charismatic church, I can make no such claim. I can only say that all churches are different, and Jesus warned of false prophets and antichrists in the end times, so those are probably it.

It is, at the same time, one of it's kind. Exhilarating. It doesn't mean anything though.. I believe something only means anything if we consciously choose it to be. I don't intend to do that. I can't deny that there's nothing quite like it though.. The feeling of smelling the proverbial freshly cut grass.. Hahas.. Nothing quite like it!

Okae, I see that blogging about being breathless is quite laborious. At this moment, I can think of nothing to add.

I guess what I want to say is that.. is that.. I had fun today and if only everyday were like today without having to go through all those complicated things that would mess everything up.

Man, I feel stupid. This is going to come back to haunt me, I'm sure.. And the fall would be so far down.. To quote Shuying again, "the more the hope, the worse the disappointment". Thankfully I learnt not to hope for anything and be content with everything.

Then again..

Technorati Tags: Breathless

Reads

Due to the recent lack of purpose and focus in my life after the said end of studying for the rest of my life until 2 years later, I've taken up a hobby I've long neglected - reading.

I started by discovering that the gracious NLB actually allows me to borrow books even though I have fines! Thanks to this, I borrowed three books, The Firm by John Grisham, See No Evil by Michael Ridpath, and Gridlock by Ben Elton.

I managed to finish Gridlock this morning while waiting for Tan Long to descend upon us at Bishan from his oversleep. It was grueling, the book. Comedy as a medium to reflect social issues such as the excess of cars are not appreciated by readers such as I. I found the book too flippant for my taste, where people die easily without sentimentality for the character. The pace of the story too, was choppy and weird; the ending anticlimatic, yet admittedly fitting and well. It was natural for the story to end in a way that left the reader thinking that the traffic problems that we face are impossible to solve because of the economic impact and the lack of political will. Indeed, even if a miracle engine were to surface, it would take a long time for its integration into our society, by the time which it would be laid to waste by oil moguls - that for one, is fact.

Thank God for Toyota Prius in the real world!

Right now, I am on to The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. One should never attempt Oscar Wilde when out of love! Such desire and longing lies in his prose that one easily gets infected by his ideas of decadence and the immorality of mortality. I haven't finished half the book, but already I see how Dorian Gray would be corrupted by Lord Henry, doomed to live out his immortality in existentialism, living each experience out to the demise of those around him. We shall see!

Oscar Wilde, I must say, is a master at his craft. Already I am falling in love with his work. Such use of emotions is hard to come by. Ben Elton for one, is like rubble as compared to a great statue of David when put beside Wilde. I might want to dig out more of his works from my little library to keep away the cold and lonely nights here. Hahas..

Well then, I am about done here. Maybe 2 months would be over in a flash.. but if everyday were like today, I wish it never would.. I had fun! May there be fun tomorrow too!

Technorati Tags: The Firm John Grisham Michael Ridpath See No Evil Gridlock Ben Elton The Picture of Dorian Gray Oscar Wilde

Movie Review // Step Up

Ay ay~! :))

I'm back after the A levels! Woot! No more studying for 2 years!

Here I am giving you a movie review on Step Up, a movie I watched after the Econs Paper with Huimin. Hehs..

The story's simple:
A bunch of street kids break into an Arts School and wreck their stage set and Tyler, played by Channing Tatum, gets caught by the security guard after helping his friends take off. So he gets sentenced to 200 hours of community service at the Arts School and eventually helps out this girl Nora, played by Jenna Dewan, choreograph her dance piece for a showcase.

The whole idea of the movie is how a street kid with no future planned out, living in a foster family, starts thinking about what he wants to do for the rest of his life other than stealing cars and play ball and fumbles upon dancing. It helps that he dances real well too, and he finds love along the way.

Nothing fancy about the film, but I love it for the meaning behind it and the cool dance moves. It's the kind of movie that makes you want to become a dancer after watching it. Really empowering. So go watch it if you are sick of seriously dull movies or overtly mushy romance comedies. It's worth it.

3.5 STARS!

I'm like hooked onto Hip Hop music cos of this movie. The groove's superb man.. I'm gonna get myself some Sean Paul when I get me money. Go get their soundtrack if you can! It's gonna be better than the movie.

Go visit their MySpace! It's really cool with the music vids and trailers and all.. The interview was quite inspiring too, with the kids talking about how dancing finally pays off and how people should follow their dreams....

One thing though... if you are going to Cathay, go with someone who can drink coke. I bought myself two cups of coke because I didn't know Huimin was sick enough to not drink coke and cos Cathay doesn't allow you to buy a bigger popcorn without two drinks!!!! Argh. My bladder was bursting by the time I came outta the theatre! I bet my control skills went up several notches just by withholding my river there. Lols.

Technorati Tags: Step Up

A life of boredom?

Finally a day of rest before the end of A levels tomorrow!!

The day was spent unwisely on the Net and watching Gong!! (shh.. my ma is not supposed to know.) I felt kinda stupid later because the Channel U repeated the exact episode tonight which I watched again.

Right now, I am trying to do more Chem MCQs to get myself familiarised with the timing and format tomorrow. 40 questions in 1 hour! It will be a madhouse man.. not least because most of everyone would finish tomorrow. Wah.. people already starting shouting and screaming after Econs yesterday lorh. I don't know what will happen tomorrow lorh. Hahas.. but I am looking forward!

I really can't imagine what I am going to do after.. Sure, we can play DOTA for a few days, go explore Vivo City, blah blah blah.. but what am I going to do after?! Life would totally lose focus. Argh.. I hope I don't fall into some depressive pit of emptiness and purposelessness. Maybe I should get myself a girlfriend for a month! Hahas..

But really.. I think I would focus on slimming down. Hmm.. work towards 8 pecs for abs! Maybe I will go kayaking again if circumstances allow.. I heard KRT's changing coach because Mr Lawrence and Mr Mark Lim are leaving the college.. Wah. I hope everything works out and Cher stays!

Okae. I hope everything goes well and life doesn't suck after JC...............

God Speaks...

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

"God hates the sin, but loves the sinner."

I read these two statements from two different blogs and they just popped out. It's as if God is trying to tell me something here...

Dr Khoo talked about grace last Sunday. About getting what we don't deserve as opposed to mercy, which is not getting what we deserve i.e. eternal damnation in unquenchable fires. Grace. I must say, I really still don't get the concept of it. Like what Dr Khoo said, it's not something that we would get after listening to a sermon. (Or was it Joyce Meyer's podcast?) Hmm.. anyway, I find it hard to believe that God would forgive someone who sins over and over again.

It's like running on a treadmill... Walking on the same spot all the time, never really moving on. How does he tolerate that?! It's all the self-condemnation suddenly negated by a single scripture of his promise to cleanse.

I can't believe it, but by faith, I will.