Hospital Visit III

I don't know how many more times I can go to TTSH without tearing.

It's not that I go there feeling all sad and emotional. It's just small little moments when I see how frail she has become and how old age and sickness can rob you of dignity.

She couldn't even choose not to eat because everyone was stuffing food at her. True, she needs food, and it's not good for her not to eat anything. I still didn't like the way they force-fed her though.. I thought right at that moment, "God, please don't let me die old."

The consolation is that she is out of any danger. What remains of the blood clot is the incoherence when she talks and some inability to express what she is trying to say. She would talk to my mother in Cantonese and then suddenly launch into some odd language which sounds Canto, but doesn't mean anything. She knows that she cannot remember things and that she has a problem with talking though.. She said it, ironically.. But that's a good thing. At least her reason is still intact.

We have to move her to Ang Mo Kio Hospital soon.. Tan Tock Seng is too packed and they asked that we move so that she could get her rehabilitation done. Echoing my auntie, I really hope that the clot didn't do much damage to her brain, and after rehab, she can return to normal.

I prayed for her again today. For full recovery. I was scared that she would be taken away... I don't know.. Is death better than a frustrating life of impediments?

Oh well, I should not think about such things.. On other matters, someone new shifted into the ward. A nice auntie who was amazingly multilingual and chatty. She was talking to her friends on her 3G phone via video, and I was like "wow!". I never knew aunties were that savvy nowadays. Singapore really is getting 3G!

Another old lady wasn't so nice to her maid. She hit her when she tried to put on her hearing aid. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Haix. It's not easy being a domestic helper.

Okae, that's enough for today. Tomorrow!