瞬间老化。

Life goes into overdrive; everything passes by so fast that everything looks still; a uniform blur.

I have grown so much the yesterday and today. In the blink of an eye.

The day started with the outing with Tan Long, Chow and Teckie as planned. We went to Tiong Bahru to have our breakfast at the famous porridge place which I don't remember the name of. The porridge was so-so... Hardly worth the distance we walked I think. But that was the first time in 10 years since I last ate pork porridge, so I guess it was a milestone =)

Words cannot express how glad I was to meet them again. It was a warmth from deep in my heart. It has been so long! I ended up discussing with Teckie about the themes running through Fight Club of the dangers of going to extremes and Nihilism. Which somehow led to Tolkien and themes of sub-creation, class discrimination and incest (Children of Hurin). Wah. I haven't used my brain in a long time. Hahas. Not in a discursive way, anyway.

We later went to Suntec City and then CitiLink and Raffles City, getting more and more tired every step of the way. No one slept well, I guess. Except Teckie that is. He was superrr energetic.

Anyway, we came across Starbucks while in Suntec, and they were only left with bucks and fee. See how capitalistic it is? "We want bucks and pay us fee!"
The shopping got really tiring because my feet were hurting, and I didn't sleep until 2+ a.m. the night before worrying about the tests I would have to do when I step back into Circwood. (I am still very worried, by the way!) But I guess I can't compare myself to Chow lah. He didn't sleep at all, but wasted his whole night in MOS. Literally.

We later had a nice little lunch/snack (according to Tan Long) at TCC in CitiLink as we (I) realised how tired we were of each other. Mainly 1 v.s. 3.

I guess when friends have been friends for a long time, we just take it for granted that someone will be the same way they are always. We think we know their "chao kuan" and so we start being evil to our friends because well, we are friends! But maybe we don't really know the circumstances ba? Why have we become so intolerant of each other?

Enough time wears down even the strongest foundations. You know, Jesus said "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." I think it's the same as friendships. The more I want to hold on to them, the more I will lose them. Yet I wasn't made to not care, and leave things be. I feel like I have to "water the plant" to have it grow. So what's the right way?

I went with Gracia, Conrad, Jun Kai at TPY after the outing. We had steamboat! Yeap.. all went to Gracia's place to makan. So in the end Wei Lun, Chai Kee, Yi Shin and Mark also came. That's virtually the whole team lorh! And I had a lot of fun. =)

I know I don't usually mention them, but KRT is super close to my heart. They're the only people I can say that I've been through failure and success, joy and sadness with together. And then there are the times when we rowed out for training and I would be whining about ahem and all. Hahas.. Those were the days. Wish I could relive them again!!

I might have neglected them abit eh? But seriously, Wei Lun is the best partner I can ever have, and Conrad and Gracia are about the weirdest and cutest couple I've ever seen. Hahas.. Just look at them!

By the way, if you were wondering, Conrad's laughing at Yishin because he's trying to hold in his shit. LOL!

Conrad, Gracia and I took a ride on Yishin's car to taunt the whole night after steamboat. And we went to eat at Tangshui at Thomson. Wah. Shiok. The long talk during steamboat was great too. I haven't talked so much for such a long time!! And university sounds reallyyyy fun from what Gracia is saying. I want to go leh!!

Anyway, having a car really rocks. We went all around lah. St James, Mt Faber, Dick Lee's house, Thomson... almost went to Changi. Hahas.. Superfun. I feel really tempted to go learn driving leh.. But aiyah. No money to buy car. =/

We have got to do this again soon... Training next week!

Maybe it's not how much time you spend together, but how you spend it that counts ba..

I feel so old. Like I finally realise the ideals that I had ever naivety on my part. And now the plate has hit the ground and shattered, and nothing can put it back together again.

Maybe I should take a step back and stop trying to hold the hand I never had.

Shit! Emo thought! Hahas.. That's actually good. Wah. This has been therapeutic. I feel much better now. =) Good luck to me for field camp!!

What Is Real / Just A Dream

There isn't enough time! Homework from Circwood is threatening to swallow me up. Urgh.

This past week had been fun. We had an Exercise from which I took this photograph. Beautiful isn't it? =) It was cool to have a chauffeur for a day. Stressful yes, but fun nonetheless.

To not talk about what I cannot talk about, I shall digress.

Well, I went for Youth Group today and got a word from God. He convicted me of what I was feeling towards Charles. Basically I hate his guts. He's too much like my father - conceited and self-righteous. Despite how I felt, I should not have attempted to gossip about him. I shouldn't even 'hate' him, I guess. He really was just acting like how he normally is. I shall try to moderate my feelings, Lord willing. I sense however that this is linked to something more deeply rooted in my life though, and that might take more to overcome...

Anyway! We had a second round of recce today, where the Rocky Hill Mess'ers went to Raffles Hotel to take a proper look at the East India Room and the Ballroom. I really like Raffles, but the date offered and the price seemed a little off. We went also to Equinox. The Private Dining Room was ill-maintained but I cannot deny the fact that the view was out of this world. Wish I had photographs, but Zhimin has all of them. Hahas. If I were to espouse in the future, Equinox would be where I would bring Mrs Wen =)

The recce was short, and we had our lunch at Suntec. Well, nothing much from then on until Youth Group, which of course, has been covered.

One thing I want to work on this next week would be effective communication with other people, and really respecting and obeying authorities in my life both in Circwood and in other situations. Yeap.. That shall be my goal for the week!