Same side of the moon.

Before long I would be going off to an undisclosed distant land for training. It came so fast that I feel nothing really about it. Tiny bits of hysteria flashes past my mind once in a while like what if I die there? or would I get to see you again?

I guess some things never change. While Ivan is thinking about what else to add into his computer or when would be the best time to buy that Wii, and while Tan Long is thinking about what to eat for dinner or when to have a DotA session, here I am sitting here thinking about the same thing over again.

I'm not a cynical bitch as much as a self inflicter of pain. I remember once reading Shuying's entry about this. Or was it? It was around that period lah.. About how this self-pity can be gratifying. Maybe I indulge in feeling emo?

Anyway, the past few days went badly, and I have every right to feel sad okae! Jamie unfortunately fell sick just before social night, so I had to go alone. I didn't want to ask someone else because I was thinking it wouldn't be fair to her (the other person) cos I would be sulking anyway. Then when I finally got to Sentosa Tanjong Beach, I immediately regretted. Imagine everyone with a date but me. Evidently I was sullen and quiet. Strangely, I did enjoy myself, looking at all the couples having fun, and just immersing in the general atmosphere of reminiscence.

So anyway, most of the evening was spent feeling really weird, and I'm really thankful that eelings was there. Tan Long too. The sky was beautiful and many couples took the chance to take their wedding photos there. I saw at least 5 of them! Like wah.. I'm gonna take mine in an unexpected place. A multi-storey carpark!

Today was spent stoning at home because well, Jamie can't eat chocolates no more, and she can't stay out too late, so I thought we should just give the date a miss. And so all that I looked forward to for this week just went poof!. Of course I would be disappointed. So please stop asking me not to be disappointed. But it's alright lah.. I'm experienced now in such things.

My main concern is just seeing Jamie again before going off to ______ and her going overseas. Wouldn't want someone to just disappear without a word like that. We all know how all relationships are fragile, and once it becomes too much of a hassle, everything falls apart (think 6B, OG, 4H, KKMC, etc..) . I'm just trying to keep a picture memory of her before she disappears.

Well, I guess I have no real say in determining whether I can ever meet her, judging by the last two dates. If I don't, here's bon voyage and bestest blessings to you, Jamie!

I'd be kayaking tomorrow! Hehs.. Meeting the J1s for the first time. They are so dead! Wah. It would be fun =) Heard from HP's sms that the youth group would be fun too. Can't wait! Even though tomorrow would mean just one more day left for me...

Don't miss me guys! I know you won't =) Eh, and if you are reading this, please tag. Argh. It's like dead lah. Show me some love! That applies to you, Tan Long's mum, and Tan Long's sister! Hahas.. okae, that's real strange.

I might blog again tomorrow.. see how ba. If I don't, please wish me luck. Thanks much, and I love you all!