Rant 4 // Midnight.

It's one forty-three in the morning right now, but I don't feel like sleeping yet.

My MSN chatter got tired and when to sleep, but I can't really sleep right now. If only Shuying were awake now. We could exchange one-worded replies. Hahas.. Really, she is likely to be the only one I know who would be awake at this hour..

Have you ever been breathless before? Not the running-till-you-are-breathless kind. The breath-taken-away kind. Tan Long, I know you haven't. I doubt Jaden has either (did I spell it right? Or is it Jayden, or Jaedon?) It discomforts me. Makes me feel as if I don't have control over my own emotions.

Emotions are a powerful tool. Some accuse charismatics of using music and impactful speeches to manipulate emotion to gain their scale of popularity and eventually - money. Now that I am in a charismatic church, I can make no such claim. I can only say that all churches are different, and Jesus warned of false prophets and antichrists in the end times, so those are probably it.

It is, at the same time, one of it's kind. Exhilarating. It doesn't mean anything though.. I believe something only means anything if we consciously choose it to be. I don't intend to do that. I can't deny that there's nothing quite like it though.. The feeling of smelling the proverbial freshly cut grass.. Hahas.. Nothing quite like it!

Okae, I see that blogging about being breathless is quite laborious. At this moment, I can think of nothing to add.

I guess what I want to say is that.. is that.. I had fun today and if only everyday were like today without having to go through all those complicated things that would mess everything up.

Man, I feel stupid. This is going to come back to haunt me, I'm sure.. And the fall would be so far down.. To quote Shuying again, "the more the hope, the worse the disappointment". Thankfully I learnt not to hope for anything and be content with everything.

Then again..

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