clueless

I am such a character that I never know what I really want. Perhaps the only thing I can decide on are the clothes I want to wear.

Why do I suddenly say this? I think I'm getting more unsure of things ba.. I used to know things for sure, now I doubt a lot more.

It really becomes a blind struggle when I don't know what I am fighting for. I do know that I want to get good grades for As and everything. That's not what I am talking about. I meant like life in general. I am not really sure what or who I like anymore, and I don't know what I am going after. Such that I just get angsty for the feeling of being alive.

Does that make sense?

Feels like I am getting refined and sawdusted at the same time. A sharp yet blunt pencil tip. HM.

Ambivalence. Gee..

And I can't sleep this thing away.. Bleargh.