All these feel strange and untrue...

Perhaps it's only fitting that I leave a word before I leave tonight for betel nut girls and typhoons.

You know, Life's too short. A few years ago, I was kissing my grandma on the cheek before I went home. I was only what? ten? Now, she lies on the hospital bed once again, wanting to go home with convoluted thoughts only God can make sense of. I had a sudden urge to take a photograph of her there and then; her eyes reflecting such curiosity and such helplessness. It was inappropriate, I figured. Who on earth takes photographs in hospital wards? Am I even allowed to? And you know how old people are with cameras...

I've been sick myself for a long time - ever since chicken pox. There's a concoction of viruses in me, causing sinus, headaches, a nose block, green phlegm, and the wheezing cough that should be familiar to my bunk mates now. I've never been this sick this long before. It feels terrible. Like you have no control over how your body works.

This trip came at a wrong time, I think. Not that there would ever be a right time. Everyday something cataclysmic is happening, and there's an excuse every day. But it somehow feels wrong. It's a weird time for me, I don't know exactly why... I guess I woke up to realise how cold the day was, and I needed to sip some hot tea before I moved on to mow the lawn.

It's interesting to note that I no longer miss EPITOME. Okae, that's not fully true; I still see shadows in passers-by. But not strongly anymore. It's like this world has suddenly become tissue. Easy come, easy go. "There's nothing I have that's truly mine," as Dido put it. Perhaps this is my winter. How does Spring return?

You know, this trip might just do me some good. A vacation away from thinking; a vacation away from reality, to where people with big heads make variety shows. A vacation! Just what I need =)