Feeling much better once I saw that I could live without a vice. I guess it was the fact that I had to find one that stressed me out all along.

I'm missing a lot of things from the past. Busyness seems to have this effect on me. A gathering should be in order! And it's not just the clique that I miss...

Alas, things past are better left in memory. It's what makes them beautiful. And I will move on too. To wherever be.

Jesus Take the Wheel.

I was reading the lyrics for Jesus Take the Wheel when I saw the lyrics "and she saw both their lives flash before her eyes" when the memories of Tan Long flooded in.

"Saw his life flush past".

That was really a good one. Hahas. I can't really remember the last time I had fun. And I really miss the times we had fun just doing silly things. Like posing for an MTV in the swimming pool. Or deciding whether or not to hurl abuses at Hana. Or even just the many DotA sessions and arguing about which hero is stronger and what item does what.

Life is just not that great for me right now. And I know I will get out of it soon. Just need some time to breathe, catch up, forget about my lousy exam.. and everything will be alright.. I hope.

Jesus, take the wheel.

Wherefore art thou, Vice?

To be honest, I am still quite stressed over my lack of a Vice. Some part of me feels that the reason that I have no Vice is because I am a lousy person. I wish it were not so. And I know it's not the right thing to think or feel, but I can't help it.

This feeling of inadequacy is compounded with the fact that I screwed up my piano exams big time and that I am seriously behind for my studies =(

The piano exams was quite the disaster. Basically I was unnerved by the plain white CLAUSTROPHOBIC room and the silence of it all. Imagine all that you can hear is your own playing. That's really really scary. The angmohness of the angmoh didn't help at all. I just felt like an inferior piece of shit in an atas environment like Delfi Orchard. Man.

I don't think I am that suited for this exam thing.. I'm so much better off just learning and playing by myself. Why oh why did I let Ms Goh convince me otherwise? Haix.

Anyways, I should really get to working on my studies. Ciao.

Whatever works.

It's gonna be my piano exams tomorrow! I have been playing 3 pieces for one freaking year just for tomorrow, but I don't have the confidence that I can do well.

Why? Because I am a bloody slacker. =/ I don't practise as much as I would like, mainly because I have a complaining neighbour and a father who looks over my shoulders too much. Those might very well be excuses though..

These few days are less stressful as compared to last week, but I am still feeling an overarching sense of dread, mainly coming from the fact that I know I am slipping in my studies. Not exactly that I don't know how to do stuff, just that I feel like I am spending less and less time on it. I have to start regulating my life! Start putting my schoolwork first!

On other news, I am still having difficulty finding a vice-director for Digital Media and Publicity. I never knew that people with Photoshop skills or website maintenance skills were in such short supply. Now I do. Almost none of the people I know in Bizad knows how to use Photoshop. Those that do know feel too jaded and sian about it to want to pick it up as my Vice. Which of course, makes me a sad sad person. =(

Other than that, nothing much is bothering me, which is a good thing =) I just hope that the myriad of things that I have to do/attend to would lessen!

I feel generally tired these days, so I shan't banter further. Until next time!

Sleepless in NUS.

I never quite thought Chee Keen meant a life like this when he described University as "short but intense". Yet right now I am really living it.

I would describe it as "fast" instead of "short" though. It's already the end of Thursday when it seems like it was Monday just yesterday. Weeks have flown past without mercy and taken me on a wild ride without allowing me a moment for a breather.

I don't precisely remember if I mentioned being worried about my schoolwork. I guess it's not really worry per se. It's just the anxiety that comes with not being able to complete everything ahead of time like in JC or in Secondary School. Things in NUS come at the last minute, and I almost always finish just in time. It's horrible not to be able to "clear" anything. It is almost as if every minute is a busy one. Good if you are bored, bad if you are overworked.

Perhaps it's that time again to refocus on my priorities. I musn't let this tsunami of work overwhelm and conquer me. It's time to ride the waves to keep my head above the water!!

GO GO ME!