Choked Sink.

One blogs with the hope that whatever is felt within oneself can be shared with whoever that chances upon the little haven that one has built for himself.

There are certain things though, that cannot be shared. These are the things that stay clogged up in one's spirit, like a choked up sink. And that is exactly how I'm feeling now: like an old, choked up sink. For a while now, in fact.

It's an undercurrent of grouchiness coupled with irritation and a general feeling of disgust. I am hoping that this will go away with my leaving the company, but I really doubt so. After all, it has nothing much to do with the company.

I just need to scream it out, but I know I can't. Which really really sucks.

Argh.

Training Week #6

Well.. It was basically a hiatus from all exercise, so there's nothing much to report except for the run on Sunday. Which really shows why one should not stop exercising for prolonged periods.

The timing was slower than the first clocked timing. Ugh.

Activities:
24/5 Sunday - 4.5 km run / 4.2 km in 30 mins (7.1mins/km)(17.2 mins for 2.4)

Stats:
Height: 1.8 m
Weight: 82.5 kg
BMI: 25.46 kgm-2

ohfiveasssixaye EAT.SHOP.WATCH

turned out to be 3 dudes eating Banana Chocolate Cake and sipping Trung Nyugen Legendee Coffee.

It was quite a day filled with disappointment and exasperation as most who said they would come didn't, and those some that did treated it like a shopping spree, going on their way in their own selfish worlds.

I thought to myself, "I will never organise a class gathering for this class again". As what they say in the army, no one actually gives a shit. For the few that do, trust me, it's not worth it.

You know, it wasn't half bad. I managed to buy some shirts from Club Marc, the coffee was really good, and I managed to learn some barista stuff from Kelvin, but att the end of the day, I couldn't help but feel so pessimistic about it.

The least you could do when you go for a class gathering is to think about the class and not your own shopping. Haix.

Oh well, whatever!

Jumpstart Operation I.J.

I decided to go try out the EnergyOne Gym at Yishun SAFRA Country Club after a few days of trepidation. After all, it was a new environment which I knew nothing about. I didn't even know where it was even though I have been to SAFRA so many times! In my mind's eye, I was imagining personal trainers leering at me, observing my every move, just waiting for me to bungle up.

The fact was, it was surprisingly empty. And a little bit high on the Yang, if you get what I mean. If there's anything worse than a crowded gym with people staring angrily at you, it would be a desolate gym with men leering at you with thoughful eyes. -shivers-

I must say I was impressed with the locker room and showers though. I didn't have to bring a towel, and there was the soap/shampoo available right there.

Another plus was the fact that the receptionist girl looked quite cute with her geeky spectacles and pony tail. Just the type I like. Hahas.

Anyways! All this was an effort to jumpstart my dying engine. The momentum I built the past few weeks was more or less killed by my birthday week of expensive dinners, and the fact that they shut down kayaking water training. Now I can run only 4.2 km in 30 minutes, do only 6 chin-ups, and almost died in the gym doing chest presses.

So right here, I shall commence Operation I.J.! It stands for Increase Joy. Because Enqing said that exercise shouldn't be all about losing weight right? So here's the new philosophy: I exercise for endorphins! Hahas.

Clueless.

I am in one of my dark moods again and I'm wearing all black to celebrate that.

It has been going on for a while now, and the horrible class gathering yesterday just managed to exacerbate it. The thing is, I have been wondering about my passion and what I am good at. I have an idea, but I generally feel like a jack of all trades and a headless chicken.

It amazes me to see people who are working towards a certain goal. Becoming a teacher, doing sports photography, setting up blogshops.. Yet up till now, I don't really know what I am going after. Too much time thinking of nonsense and non-existent relationships, and so little time spent on thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life.

A kayaker we knew passed away 3 days ago in MacRitchie. The first thing I thought of when I heard the news was, "At least he died doing something he loved". What could that be for me?

I love kayaking too. The feeling when you are paddling in water and the rest of the world seems to be less important.

I love writing. Talking to yourself as if the paper you write on can understand what you are trying to say to it.

Reading. Escaping into fantastical novels of intrigue or rags-to-riches stories, or conspiracy theories.

But seriously, I don't know. And the feeling of not knowing sucks. I wish I knew..