Work has been hard as usual.. I am starting to develop a tendency to procrastinate because of the things that keep piling and piling. And because I procrastinate, I feel more and more stressed because things keep piling up even more. You get the drift.

It's horrid.

I just packed my cabinet and dug out ancient clothes which I forgot I had... Threw away some clothes I never wore too. There was this mega big red Giordano tee which someone gave to me on my birthday... Pity that it had to be thrown, but I know I will never ever wear it.

I feel so accomplished! Hahas.

Trees of green

Have you noticed how kids just sit and look at things go by at times? I was sitting on the bus on my way to Tampines and I saw this little girl just staring into the blank space and just having this look of wonder in her face. It was as if the air was speaking to her, impacting her so much.

When was the last time I saw or thought about something in wonder? I remember the Physics lessons we had with Mrs Chan, and the way she allowed us to see the Eureka moments in our thinking. There was really a sense of satisfaction when you found yourself really getting something for the first time.

I believe I am starting to really get what the Word of God means too. Like what I told Tan Long, I feel like there is a sort of revival within me, a new hunger for what being a Christian really means. What exactly does God call us to be? I have found that the stereotypical view of a Christian is so far from the truth.. and how different the world sees us!

A great example of this is how the bible tells us how useless and unworthy we are without God (Ps 16:2) and yet the world expects us to be the epitome of goodness and perfection. That's exactly what the Bible teaches we cannot achieve! (Rom 7:18). Strange huh?

Anyways, I was really talking about the wonder that we had as children but lose as we grow up. Why is that? Is it because the world pollutes us too much? Or could it be that we have taken so many things for granted? The air that we breathe, the trees that we see, the clouds in the sky... these are all blessings and wonders! Yet here I am wondering when I can get my own car, and if a million bucks would drop on my lap. Hahas..

I guess it's all phases in our lives, and we really have to find back what is the most important in our lives: faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and of the utmost, love!

This is the huger version of the last version.. Hmm.. Hope it helps!

=(

If you are feeling emo or sad right this moment, remember the feeling. Hold it. Treasure it. Give it a big hug and feel its embrace. You might not feel this strongly ever again. I know I don't. You won't get it now. Because you still have it. But you will understand it soon.

For the longest time now, life has been a very very flat line. Every day starts with me waking up at 6.30 AM and wishing I had more time to sleep. I will proceed to change into my clothes and then going for work. I will then feel faint in the car because I was dehydrated by not drinking water in the morning (don't ask me why it happens to me). Then work starts. And it's of course the same old thing over again, worrying about things that rightly concerns others. Logistics is all about getting other people's worries dumped on you and having you to solve it. What satisfaction! Anyway, work ends, and I go home for dinner. And I sleep. And then it starts again until the weekend comes.

Its all so uneventful that it's painful. It's also a very lonely job. Haix. Now that even RQ is not there.. I basically have no one to talk to. Why can't I have a normal NSF life like everyone else? I need a break. Even though no amount of breaks is enough.. I need respite. I need to feel again. I don't want to be buried by work and worries!

Argh! The agony!